Sip the parting from her lips,
in tiptoe telling of goodbye.
His fingers in his pocket crossed,
Soon it’s lost.
A single ticket (no return):
it’s a secret sigh,
A tearless cry.
His smile’s a lye — as
forever’s not au revoir.
Linked to Magpie Tales. I guess all of you know that au revoir means “till we meet again”. This guy has a purpose.
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My first time here … I’m impressed … Love, cat.
A precious piece of poetry!
Cynical and to the pointed point. Any form your poetry takes, Björn, I know you will capture a moment that will give me pause.
A tearless cry . . . an excellent line.
Even your free verse has a flawless flow and a loose element of rhyme. In few words you tell a complete story.
Somehow all those internal rhymes are fun to play with…
I like the hopefulness here…
Indeed it isn’t.
The words go ver well with the photo! I do hope its not au revoir!
au revoir is so much better than goodbye…
very well done! Eloquent twist.
http://katheworsley.blogspot.com/2015/12/magpie-299-christmas-break.html
I love this: “His smile’s a lye” … Like he’s washing her mouth out with soap or something.
“A lye is a liquid obtained by leaching ashes” … Did you know that aside from making soap, lye is used in foods like mandarin oranges, pretzels, and Cantonese moon cakes? It’s also used to make amphetamines.
Lye is very dangerous. If he kisses her with those lips, he’s going to burn her mouth off. And if he kisses her eyes, she’ll go blind. She’d better stay away from him!
Of course, there’s also, “His smile’s a lie-ass” and “… Yazz” (my favorite rapper of the moment.
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I noticed the same thing about the picture. The body language. His hands in his pockets. She’s leaning into him, all gushy. But he can’t wait to get away from her. He’ll probably send her a text on the plane telling her it’s over. It’s too bad she’s the only one who can’t see the signs.
This is powerful. I would say he does have a purpose, indeed.
Love this. So sad, though, that it’s “forever” and not “au revoir”. Was your use of “lye” instead of “lie” deliberate? I think that the play on words would be quite appropriate…it sounds like “a lie”, but references a caustic chemical…and that parting must burn…just as lye would.
I would love to say it was intentional… but it becomes better… and yes we will be eating lye fish (lutefisk) now when Christmas comes.
I’ve never had the chance to sample lutefisk. I understand that it’s a bit of an “aquired” taste…
Sniff, sniff. Devious cad.
I think you may be right.
__In a metaphoric view of your fine verse… we run from our failures, but our yesterdays follow. _m
one way ticket
forever escaping yourself
yesterday
sweet!
I like the twist here!
A parting of no return can be most hurtful when it is plain to know of its reality.
Hank
vilken stil du har! “as
forever’s not au revoir” is as cutting a close as I’ve ever seen.
One rascal and a cad! Shame on him. Then again . . . perhaps for the best?
I like the way you imagine his fingers crossed. Nice.
So many wonderful lines in this Bjorn!