Before


Before:
Forever happy un-
                    abridged
            “Yes” — she said
                    that day,
                         yet
unpaired: des-
              paired he’s 
                       left
bereft today,
        silenced into shade.
There are days when
               water’s paled
with voices (choices);
                      hisses:
“Come to me; & kiss me
                  as she did
                     before”

Despair by Edward Munch

Despair by Edward Munch


Today we have a wonderful guest blog on enjambment at dVerse MTB, come and enjoy yourself and us, when the pub opens at 3PM EST.

November 5, 2015

36 responses to “Before

  1. First off, that painting is stunning. I want to hang it in my house!

    Also, I love it when you write like this because it gives me so much to dissect, discover, and yes, invent. 🙂 Jagged alignments make anything possible. Like, straightaway, I see “forever happy un-yes.” That makes me think of indecision, but also of divorce.

    Also, “abridge(d), she said” … She’s been shortened (or shut up), and yet, she’s still somehow a bridge … to Te(a)rabithia, of course. Or maybe she’s “un-abridge(d)” at times … or just “that day.” Obviously, she changes (her mind) a lot.

    Also, “forever happy, un-un-paired.” LOL. You sound like me. 😛 So that would mean that they would have to get back together for the “forever happiness” to set in again.

    “unpaired des” becomes “unpaired De’s …” Or even multiple bodies for De’s essence to float in and out of. 🙂 Unpaired. Divorced? Or maybe this is a Noah’s ark reference … so where’s her partner? They’re supposed to enter the ark two by two, but her other is missing.

    The way you stacked “he’s left” makes it morph into “he slept.”

    This is beautiful: “silenced into shade” … I could go on about these three words for DAYS. For example, if you knock the “s” off the beginning and make it an ending instead, you get “Hades.”

    I also see “When?-waters paled” … When-waters represent our questions about when things are going to happen. But you have to stop asking and wondering, just let it all go, let the when-waters pale, before you’ll ever get any answers. All philosophical answers come in droplets. But sometimes you can see the water for the rage of waves. It takes a trickle to feel a prickle. LOL. I don’t know what I’m talking about. Only, I’m lying, and I totally do. I’m sure you don’t, though. 😛

    Moving along …

    “the choices of voices” has to do with the voices inside our heads that we’re always trying to silence. But here, maybe you’re thinking we should let our voices make some choices for a change. Perhaps all the unpairing wouldn’t happen if we spoke our mind(s) more often. On the other hand, maybe more would happen. Who’s to say?

    I LOVE what you did at the end, turning this into an Adam and Eve poem. I’m left feeling like the speaker of the poem is actually the serpent. He’s already gotten Eve; now he’s trying to draw Adam in. But again, with this abstract/surreal style of writing, anything is possible. The trick is to read it with a completely open mind and just let the images wash over you with total freedom to interpret in any way at all.

  2. Nice to be back in the saddle; really dig your take on enjambment, & it works like fox fire, moving our reader’s gaze all over the page. I like the line /silenced into shade/.

  3. Oh, that’s a sad feeling…once accepted, now rejected. Like how you staged your wording, Bjorn, somehow it makes the words bring home their meaning stronger. I guess perhaps that’s what enjambment can do.

  4. YES!!! I love this.
    My favorite:
    “silenced into shade”
    And I love your usage of sound within.

    I see this mini poem hiding:
    that day,
    he’s
    left
    silenced into shade,
    water’s paled
    hisses.

    LOVE.It.

  5. Love the word breaks specially this part:
    unpaired: des-paired

    and sounds of this part:
    with voices (choices); hisses:

    Well done Bjorn ~

  6. Ooo…!!! You’ve brought out so many goodies with your choices, Bjorn! I love the abridged and silenced into shade…also, the poem within the poem that de noticed!! Excellent!

  7. Such clever riff on ‘unpaired’, ‘despaired’ and ‘paired’ – quite a balletic structure there of coming together, moving apart – like a minuet. I also like the un-abridged.
    Such a great prompt, I do wish I had time to think and write for it – will have to come back to it later!

I love your feedback

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s