In anemic autumn,
shadows chasing
breath — a sickle sickness prints
and clots with little death:
a tear-trickled lacing
rot in sentenced gloom,
choking on the fags:
doomed to tint with gray
she dreams in stills.
photo by Tess Kincaid
Linked to Magpietales and Real toads Tuesday platform
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September 21, 2015
Writing about living in two places (and times)
Poems & Stories from The Author Stew
practising for a whole life
haikai poetry matters
Running in the slow lane
The view from here ... Or here!
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein
chronicling my quarter life crisis
Now we see through a glass, darkly
Equal parts intrigued and repelled by the language. Vivid though.
I love the way you weave words…even when they kill me.
The metaphor of sickle cell is incredible. Stark reality in this. A unique interpretation of the image.
“a sickle sickness prints” = “a sickle sickness sprints”
Love this:
“a tear-trickled lacing
rot in sentenced gloom”
“she dreams in stills” = “she dream-instills”
“Anemic autumn” is gorgeous and so thought-provoking; she needs to figure out how to get some more iron!
Dreaming in stills. This is truly brilliant.
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This one was somewhat spectral for me but Wow: “shadows chasing breath” – the symbolism is incredible – masterful – really. The coupling of chronic illness with still photography. The final line: she dreams in stills. Fantastic. A complex, thoroughly mesmerizing work.
Beautifully written
Almost the last gasp
Anemic autumn, just begun. But your poetry is far from anemic.
Anaemic autumn…classic
What strikes me most about this poem is how you have structured the sentence with the main clause right at the end. it keeps up a forward momentum until that stylish finish.
Great flow in this short piece that says so much, Bjorn–and wonderful imagery–dark, misty as that image, and evocative of an inner wasting.
Dark and autumnally delicious…like chocolate…
Certainly paints an uncomfortable picture. Love dreaming in stills
Your style has changed, Bjorn. I like how you’re playing with language and going in new directions. The language is beautiful and compelling…meaty and chewy. I like it.
Dreamy I love it! Anemic Autumn is great!
All dreams are so worth having!
I like your take on this visual prompt. You took me places I could not imagine.
Thank God she dreams in stills, in motion this would have been quite sad 🙂
Very cool poem, Bjorn–succinct and rather poignant–thanks. k.
I think it’s hard to bring off that much alliteration well, but you succeeded. Arresting phrase: dreams in stills.
Alliteration should just be to enhance the rhythm of the piece..
Outstanding image:
“doomed to tint with gray
she dreams in stills.”
Wow. Just wow!
Beautiful…”anemic autumn” “a sickle sickness prints and clots with little death” I could copy and paste the whole poem..Beautiful work!
I like how you combined the Magpie image. Perfect, and your last line is excellent. I will remember that one.
Your rhyme scheme and cadence are lyrical and inviting. Diction is the cherry on top.
Love the double meaning in “sickle” here:
“a sickle sickness prints
and clots with little death:”
Also:
“She dreams in stills.” YES.