Bullets of your butterflies
are hands beating at the fuse
Your ants are wearing lions:
as a march hare through the mill.
Debase are kid gloves
nipping at the hard place
of my gilded ball-park.
My stomach was a dead horse
touching rock, shared
keenly as a feather duster.
flogging in my pants
beating clouds.
But still my smoking boat
is mad and armed around the bush.
Your drawing boards were dead as bells
and old as rosy numbers
They were bitter as the back of whistles
cast before the pearls.
But yet in sheep’s clothing
your crow flies
at the crack of a silver lining.
Drug store by Edward Hopper
Today I have Meeting the Bar at dVerse and discuss a little bit of Cathacresis and how that connects to creating new metaphors out of cliches. I hope that this surrealistic writing still make some sense (I intended it to have). Welcome to the bar at 3PM EST and maybe reach your goal for NaPoWriMo.
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April 30, 2015
Love that smoking boat. 🙂
love the image of a crow flying in sheep’s clothing
Maybe there are too many images here.. but we can just use a few of these mashups for the prompt.
Never too many images, brother, for you heighten the absurdity, illuminate the surreal around us, dipping into Flarf & Nonsense Verse. I love your example, quite the diversion from your norm. I, too, like the lines /but still my smoking boat/is mad & armed around the bush/.
The strongest image for me is ‘my stomach was a dead horse touching rock.’ That really gets the point across in a very visceral way! And when a crow flies in sheep’s clothing, it is time to stop drinking and go home. Smiles!
Ooh. What a wonderful write. I love how you play with images in this one. The metaphors are sublimely executed. Loved this: “My stomach was a dead horse/touching rock, shared/keenly as a feather duster.”
I was inspired and I wrote something as well. 🙂
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The march hare through the mill made me smile wryly (sounds like corporate zombies to me). This method really works – it’s produced some surreal but really plausible and thought-provoking lines such as:
But still my smoking boat
is mad and armed around the bush.
My personal favourites are the final three lines, though.
Surreal is the mot juste! That last stanza takes the biscuit…
I think I see now what you were looking for with the dVerse prompt. I so did not meet it, but shared a little about cliches anyway. This kind of reminds me of Alice in Wonderland. Peace, Linda
A case of when you stoke the fire – you don’t look at the mantelpiece?
Excellent Björn.
Anna :o]
This was fun to read and I love the closing lines!!!!!
Very interesting prompt and a fun poem to read. I am personally so far stuck on this one. However I will keep trying. And thank you for visiting my blog with my last poem!!
Wow…too many to quote what I liked…I think first it’s good to have a skeleton/idea and then to grow some clothing… Fun reading!
Thank you for that explanation at the end, Björn, although just using my ear made this a sensual feast split off from any meanings of the so-called cliches. Love what you’ve done to patch and pitch these familiar wordings. Favorites are (some mentioned already): dead as bells, the smoking boat, ants wearing lions, bullets as butterflies.
these really make us think and the mind visualize new connections Bjorn
You have had fun with his. Great work.
I’ve got to admit, I was a bit confused by this piece, Bjorn. 🙂 — Suzanne
Actions give subjects a freshness ~ love the first stanza!
…..ants wearing lions ~
Very hard to pull off – well done, in the traditon of theatre of the absurd
A topsy turvy world of cliches you have created! The final stanza is my favorite.
So many whimsical visuals…and trying to make sense of the nonsense was challenging and fun!