Recalling sting of sudden words unsheathed
the billowed darkness growing as the smoke
of sentences, of claws and dragon’s teeth.
Our home’s a battlefield, I wander cloaked
among the ruins of our wasted truce
by cuts of daggered syllables I spoke:
“Defeated you might wonder what’s the use
to mend what’s broken, let it burn, and save
the ash, forgetting our mutual abuse.
Remember knell of bluebells not our grave
with untied ribbons on the meadow grass
before we built the fences, hid in caves”
You smiled and glistening like broken glass
in tear of tears, a gem you saved till last.
© Roger Bultot
Since it is National poetry Month, I had to give my entry as a poem. Actually this an effort I have entered to Create a sonnet crown. The first sentence of this one is the last from a sonnet I wrote yesterday, they deal with the same subject. I have used the Terza rima as rhyme scheme, but let us hope I get through it all. I think it stands well by it’s own, but if you want to read the first one, the link is here.
Friday Fictioneers is a blogging community writing fiction to the same picture. Today I did not manage to hit the 100 word mark exactly, but I thought I could get an acceptance of using 2 words extra. The firebrigade is headed by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and sometimes we can get as many as 100 entries.
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February 15, 2015
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Dear Björn,
It’s sad when relationship goes up in smoke. You’ve illustrated it well with your poetic entry.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Indeed a theme that is interesting to tackle… the billowing smoke was interesting to use as metaphor.
Dear Bjorn,
You step adroitly where others fear to tread. This piece of yours was lyrical and image and emotion intensive. A great use of the prompt and a reminder never to play with fire.
Aloha,
Doug
I do agree.. it’s dangerous to play with fire.
Very skilfully done. I can see a lot of thought has gone into this.
Oh I hope to be able to do a full crown of sonnet on the same theme… so I have only thirteen sonnets left.
I enjoyed this very much, as is the case with your poetry.
Thank you.. a poet always love to be read. 🙂
Bjorn that is beautiful!!! I’ve really enjoyed reading some of your poetry so thanks for sharing. The last two lines are superbly crafted… I want to read them over and over: You smiled and glistening like broken glass
in tear of tears, a gem you saved till last.
Thank you 🙂 Sometimes tears are the best of gifts.
Hey, Bjorn. Good job. Very vivid! And works as story. I am sure you will get an acceptance with 102 words but you might be able to drop “and” in the last line if you wanted to get to 101! Thanks, k.
Alas. I have the sonnet syllables count to consider 🙂 I would need to replace two words with one… 🙂
I hope to be able to make the next sonnet soon with the last line of this being the first of next, and at the same time ensuring that all the repeated lines makes up a new sonnet. I think it will take a while.
Lovely – this sort of thing makes me want to read more poems.
Amazing imagery in these lines, and a picture of this strained relationship.
KT
Thank you.. I have really tried hard to work with metaphors and imagery lately…
Just love the language Bjoern
Thank you.. that means a lot.. writing in a second language.
among ruins of our wasted truce – that line brought a tear to my eye. Immensely powerful stuff.
Thank you.. I hope to be able to present the full cycle of sonnets in a couple of weeks.
I will look forward to that.
How sad it is when it sometimes comes to this in a relationship……
A theme to explore but hopefully not one to live through.
A stark and also a very skillful sonnet Bjorn–your project sounds fascinating and I wish you great luck with it. April is a hard month to find time to follow all the wonderful writing going on!
I do understand that.. thankfully I have already failed since I was absent during the first part. So i have put no restriction on myself.
Very, very good. The language and imagery is perfection.
Thank you.. I hope to carry it through to the next sonnet… 🙂
Good luck with your crown – that’s a real challenge. Do you use the Terza rima throughout?
The battlefield as a metaphor for a damaged relationship comes across so well in your piece. I’m jealous.
Thank you.. I’m deep into exploring metaphors right now.. so that is part of it.
No I will modify the rhymescheme a little and intend to explore both Shakespearean and Petrarchan rhymeschemes.. I also intend to do it like a doublee so the repeated lines become a sonnet too… I have written three so far.
Absolutely Brilliant! Love it!
Thank you 🙂
Dear Bjorn,
Sonnets are a bit of a bugger–for me anyway. I didn’t look too closely at the technical aspects of this, but I like the sounds and the imagery. Nice stuff and a good match for the prompt as well as an appropriate nod to Poetry Month.
All my best,
MG
Thank you, and I hope that I manage to keep up and do the rest of the sonnets well… 🙂
Poetry isn’t really my thing, but this story/poem just flowed from start to end. Felt very deep and multi-layered. Impressive.
I spend quite some effort with the iambs.. and when you do that you get a very natural flow… 🙂
Wow! What a beautiful piece of writing! 🙂
Thank you .. so appreciated.
My pleasure 🙂
beautiful words can’t hide the sadness within. well done.
Sadness can be beautiful.. i hope to be able to turn this into some type of happiness when I do the crown.
Beautiful poem, Bjorn, if quite sad. I like the line “knell of bluebells”.
Thank you David, to bring narrative into sonnets is something that I hope will work well… still 13 more sonnets to do..
Beautifully done, great metaphor. Many memorable lines.
Thank you Perry. I wanted to make it accessible, yet within the form of the poem.
knell of bluebells….quite the opposite from the blue beauty they spread in such a lovely carpet…and the tears at the end. Sad poem but a relationship ending is sad. This poem gave me tears as I remembered a past relationship. And a crown sonnet…oh my. That is awe inspiring. I follow the blog of a man, a mathematician who writes incredible sonnets. A most admirable form of poetry – reading this and reading his makes me think those involved with higher math are possessed of a special affinity for sonnets.
I think you are right.. there is a mathematical beauty of sonnets that cannot be denied… many poets have actually been scientist, and after working with it the iambs fall natural.. I think many of my free verses are close to being metered too..
They often seem to be and it has a natural feel rather than contrived.
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This is such a beautiful, impressive take on the prompt. It is very powerful.
This is a poetical masterpiece! As to the subject matter, it’s very sad when a relationship degrades to this point.
A wonderful piece of poetry Bjorn!
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Great use of metaphor to describe a vicious verbal battlefield where love “goes up in smoke,” Bjorn. Well done. 😉 — Suzanne
I love the rhythm of this and the mass of metaphors. The sentiment is too close to home for comment.
All I can really say is, “Wow!” An exceptional piece.
well,you are as adroit in verse as in prose
that was lovely, I loved the imagery the words painted.
A sad commentary beautifully written Bjorn.
Wonderful work, Bjorn.
That closing: Whew! A simile that “blooms” (can’t actually put my finger on the word I’m groping for) into a layered metaphor. Very cool!
Great language.
Some really beautiful images in this poetic piece. So well crafted and a pleasure to read. I love the phrase ‘Remember knell of bluebells …’
Well-written poetic take.
Beautifully written to have such vivid words and not cause the reader to stumble over them. They flow smoothly with deep meaning.
Lovely, Bjorn! I always enjoy your poetry, rich in imagery and depth of feeling.
These are two wonderful sonnets, Bjorn. The rhythm and use of language to create images. Love and bluebells. I’ll check back for the rest of this series –
Ellespeth
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That’s a lovely poem Bjorn. It not only speaks but also sings….
Makes me want to write poetry, not a strength of mine…and I too have had many relationships go up in smoke that still smolder late at night when I can’t sleep. You’re a wonderful poet.
I’d say this comment reads like the start of a poem Susannah…
You’re very kind to say that. Thanks.
A perfect write .. what a great take on the photo … bravo Bjorn!
‘I wander cloaked among the ruins of our wasted truce.’
Sad, but lovely.
Beautifully done, this was very well crafted indeed.
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Powerful in its form and words, Björn. The strain of a conflicted relationship is vivid and real, in this incredible poem. Both versions are just fantastic!
I’ve got no problem with a couple of extra words. I think it stands well alone.
When relationships faulter they feel like the fire of their love creates an angry intensity only to die out in the end. A great description of a traumatic situation. It looks like the prompt was perfect for you. I liked your poem very much. 😎
That was insanely wonderful, Bjorn. I am in awe…
A wonderful poem. I love the rhythm and the imagery, and how the story of their life together unfolds so dramatically.
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That is extremely powerful stuff and so well written. It seems that the more in love/lust people are in the first place, the deeper their hatred and bitterness when they fall out. You’ve portrayed this depths of emotion brilliantly.
Dear Bjorn, Wonderful story – so very sad and well written. Amazing that in 100 words you built an entire novel! Nan
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