The tear of tears


Recalling sting of sudden words unsheathed
the billowed darkness growing as the smoke
of sentences, of claws and dragon’s teeth.
Our home’s a battlefield, I wander cloaked
among the ruins of our wasted truce
by cuts of daggered syllables I spoke:
“Defeated you might wonder what’s the use
to mend what’s broken, let it burn, and save
the ash, forgetting our mutual abuse.
Remember knell of bluebells not our grave
with untied ribbons on the meadow grass
before we built the fences, hid in caves”
You smiled and glistening like broken glass
in tear of tears, a gem you saved till last.

© Roger Bultot

© Roger Bultot


Since it is National poetry Month, I had to give my entry as a poem. Actually this an effort I have entered to Create a sonnet crown. The first sentence of this one is the last from a sonnet I wrote yesterday, they deal with the same subject. I have used the Terza rima as rhyme scheme, but let us hope I get through it all. I think it stands well by it’s own, but if you want to read the first one, the link is here.

Friday Fictioneers is a blogging community writing fiction to the same picture. Today I did not manage to hit the 100 word mark exactly, but I thought I could get an acceptance of using 2 words extra. The firebrigade is headed by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and sometimes we can get as many as 100 entries.



February 15, 2015

89 responses to “The tear of tears

  1. Dear Bjorn,

    You step adroitly where others fear to tread. This piece of yours was lyrical and image and emotion intensive. A great use of the prompt and a reminder never to play with fire.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. Bjorn that is beautiful!!! I’ve really enjoyed reading some of your poetry so thanks for sharing. The last two lines are superbly crafted… I want to read them over and over: You smiled and glistening like broken glass
    in tear of tears, a gem you saved till last.

  3. Hey, Bjorn. Good job. Very vivid! And works as story. I am sure you will get an acceptance with 102 words but you might be able to drop “and” in the last line if you wanted to get to 101! Thanks, k.

    • Alas. I have the sonnet syllables count to consider 🙂 I would need to replace two words with one… 🙂

      I hope to be able to make the next sonnet soon with the last line of this being the first of next, and at the same time ensuring that all the repeated lines makes up a new sonnet. I think it will take a while.

  4. Lovely – this sort of thing makes me want to read more poems.
    Amazing imagery in these lines, and a picture of this strained relationship.
    KT

  5. A stark and also a very skillful sonnet Bjorn–your project sounds fascinating and I wish you great luck with it. April is a hard month to find time to follow all the wonderful writing going on!

  6. Good luck with your crown – that’s a real challenge. Do you use the Terza rima throughout?
    The battlefield as a metaphor for a damaged relationship comes across so well in your piece. I’m jealous.

    • Thank you.. I’m deep into exploring metaphors right now.. so that is part of it.

      No I will modify the rhymescheme a little and intend to explore both Shakespearean and Petrarchan rhymeschemes.. I also intend to do it like a doublee so the repeated lines become a sonnet too… I have written three so far.

  7. Dear Bjorn,
    Sonnets are a bit of a bugger–for me anyway. I didn’t look too closely at the technical aspects of this, but I like the sounds and the imagery. Nice stuff and a good match for the prompt as well as an appropriate nod to Poetry Month.

    All my best,
    MG

  8. knell of bluebells….quite the opposite from the blue beauty they spread in such a lovely carpet…and the tears at the end. Sad poem but a relationship ending is sad. This poem gave me tears as I remembered a past relationship. And a crown sonnet…oh my. That is awe inspiring. I follow the blog of a man, a mathematician who writes incredible sonnets. A most admirable form of poetry – reading this and reading his makes me think those involved with higher math are possessed of a special affinity for sonnets.

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  11. That closing: Whew! A simile that “blooms” (can’t actually put my finger on the word I’m groping for) into a layered metaphor. Very cool!

  12. Some really beautiful images in this poetic piece. So well crafted and a pleasure to read. I love the phrase ‘Remember knell of bluebells …’

  13. Beautifully written to have such vivid words and not cause the reader to stumble over them. They flow smoothly with deep meaning.

  14. These are two wonderful sonnets, Bjorn. The rhythm and use of language to create images. Love and bluebells. I’ll check back for the rest of this series –
    Ellespeth

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  16. Makes me want to write poetry, not a strength of mine…and I too have had many relationships go up in smoke that still smolder late at night when I can’t sleep. You’re a wonderful poet.

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  18. When relationships faulter they feel like the fire of their love creates an angry intensity only to die out in the end. A great description of a traumatic situation. It looks like the prompt was perfect for you. I liked your poem very much. 😎

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  20. That is extremely powerful stuff and so well written. It seems that the more in love/lust people are in the first place, the deeper their hatred and bitterness when they fall out. You’ve portrayed this depths of emotion brilliantly.

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