28 responses to “A heavy cart”

1. Oooh, a sombre one there – lovely to hear from you, by the way, even on holiday! Some startling images there ‘wigged with ash’, the jellyfish clotting the wall, cathetered and that final arresting stop.

2. This brought to mind a heart attack and the feelings one might have in the midst of it – very powerful imagery, Bjorn

3. Oh, this is a weighty piece–the imagery and the finality.

4. oh björn – that is a painful write – how tough to be in a place like that – those images really went under my skin

5. this reminds me of a village we saw in France near Melisey – where the villagers were used like mules to push the wood cutting carts up and down the slopes. Some endure hardship beyond comprehension.

6. I thought of sitting and watching my grandmother slowly die while reading this. A very somber and very true write.

7. This is a very somber poem, almost chokes me as I read it…. A night to end his nights <—quite a difficult way to go. Glad to see you back, Bjorn. Hope you are rested from your time away!

8. The darkness of your poem made me wonder whether any event or news triggered these lines. I too find the idea of a night to ‘end his nights’ to be very powerful and to convey great pain.

9. Very somber, indeed. Your words demand the reader’s emotions. Powerful writing, Bjorn.

10. A night to end all nights ~ Whew, this is heavy, filled with despair, till the end ~ How lovely to read you again Bjorn ~ Hope you are well rested from your vacation ~

11. What begins as a lament for the dying transitions into a dirge. The heavy cart of his breath – a powerful, visceral metaphor. The burden of the struggle: onerous and laborious.

12. It tugs under the skin Bjorn! The feeling of despair lingers on. Great lines!

    Hank

13. I was missing you–glad to see you again; this poem is incredible–subtly powerful imagery.

14. A forest of the heart.. of the soul.. of the spirit.. of the flesh and blood as burned forest.. can never know the dreams of life in trees of leaves of grass set free..:)

15. Great to see your title pop up on the RT blogroll. I hope you had a good vacation. You have returned with some rather deep and twisty thoughts here. The heavy cart is the perfect medium for your description .

16. Ooh, I think this is my new favorite of yours. The imagery is fabulous, I could feel it.

17. Wow Bjorn. This one is so real, one can feel the inner drama of this person wanting one more dreamless night. This is such good and such strong writing. Hope you had a good time on vacation.

18. Such a sensiive depiction of the indignities one ultimately faces. It is, indeed, a heavy cart that one pulls to the end, and the wish for one last night….

19. Back from vacation, stronger than ever! Such a heavy subject…the final lines are heart-stopping.

20. Dark, indeed. Right from the beginning you captured a heavy mood and took it through to the end.

21. I can feel the heavy cart in the words, Bjorn. And the weariness, the begging for it to end.

22. Reblogged this on thesewordsiwrite2012 and commented:
    I always enjoy what Björn Rudbergs has to offer with his writing. Take a look!

23. A very somber lament of the dying breath… well-written.

24. Haunting a bit… makes me think of someone’s final moments.

25. Had me right there, at the river Styx, with the hooded boatman who has no eyes, limbs heavy as concrete, breath labored, life review spinning on fast forward, all too soon after such a brief visit; wow, ass-kicking, brother. I liked the lines /the jellyfish to clot the wall/with vomit of the ferryman/.

26. a tragic piece…the breath compared to a cart in the first line, and then the cart stopping in the last. Powerfully written.

27. welcome back, Bjorn. a weighty piece, indeed ~

28. I like the second stanza a lot.. “a night to end his nights.” Wonderful poem.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.