With bleeding fingers in the freezing soil
I hide the treasures of the words I said
with lies I poured on stormy waves like oil
to cool the warming arrows that was read,
as tattooed serpents on a youthful thigh.
Those silent words with taste of moldy bread.
Yet, in the winter wind I leave to dry,
in whispered softness of the morning rime,
forgotten icicles of tears you cried.
I’m eaten by the secret of my crimes,
in hidden wardrobes of my skeletons,
hear rusty bells of hide-and-seek, the chime
for paying all my debts in penitence
for hidden words that stay in residence.
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Abhra is hosting Poetics today and want us to write about our secrets without actually revealing them. We all have secrets, and somehow they can be a burden sometimes, a hellish thing really that make a terza rima a suitable form, at least in my mind.
Come join us, Pub opens at 3 PM EST.
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January 13, 2014
Björn Rudbergs writings 
This piece is so full, so rich, it deserves multiple readings. I love the language and the form. Wonderful, sir :))
Thank you Jo-Anne.. this was a nice one to write.
I loved the variation of the sonnet – how you’ve grouped your stanzas, it gives it a different reading rhythm. And the teasing about the secret without revealing — you did it masterfully.
The grouping of the stanza follow the terza rima rhyme scheme. Nested ABA BCB CDC etc… To talk about secrets without revealing was an interesting challenge
I want to sit in a class about poetry with you as the professor. It’s not something I’m good at, but I am fascinated by it as an artform, and I appreciate good poetry.
Oooh intriguing . .. definitely one to be read multiple times.
Great form for this one.
Some words are best hidden, even if one has to bloody one’s fingers to bury them. But even though they are hidden, the memories forever remain.
Indeed.. but I guess the secrets should never have been needed in the first place.
This really got me down into it. So many words unsaid. They have their effect whether spoken or not.
when one gets old we do remember wondering what we could have done better… for me, you captured that in this work… the form, beautiful as always
oh there are def. secrets that can eat us from the inside out… we need to decide carefully which secrets we want to carry around…the skeletons in the wardrobe made me shudder…
it is the words that i hold back that scare me….secrets scare me as well…because they never stay that way…and one day we will pay for them…we are foolish to think otherwise….
Words of wisdom Brian. So very true
Candor is a honorable bed fellow, but for me, too often, those words do not get stifled, or held back–which has been an issue for me vocationally & personally. Terza Rima indeed; so well done this time that I was onto the third stanza before I realized, recognized it as a classic form. Your ease with older forms still amazes me, brother; not where I live, but I don’t mind visiting sometimes. Like Claudia, I like the lines /I’m eaten by the secret of my crimes/in hidden wardrobes of my skeletons/.
Some secrets can get to us and linger throughout life. You have conveyed this very well Bjorn.
guilt is such a powerful force, and it always fights with our secrets, we never know for sure who will win the battle.
I love the silent words that taste of moldy bread…what a fabulous image.
‘I hide the treasures of the words I said’ ~ this line – very intriguing…to make someone to guess what it is….but sometimes it’s sorry if they don’t get it, esp. close people…~ love the sonnet.
The form suits, definitely, Bjorn! Secrets have a way of eating one from within.
One can indeed be eaten by secrets. While in a perfect world, there should be no need for secrets, there are sadly times when they are necessary. Which does not mean they should be taken lightly.
Please go on.. I feel this needs to continue, perhaps only because I want more!! Secrets, definitely intriguing.. draws me in!
Your form of poetry always breaths in gracefully secrets and intriguing thoughts to ponder and smile.
I love your poem here Bjorn. 🙂
“I’m eaten by the secret of my crimes” … What a great line.
Guilt is powerful and it destroys….
“I’m eaten by the secrets of my crimes” Brilliant!
Bjorn, I really liked this form I might have to try this sometime.” I’ve eaten the secrets of my crimes” . I think we have all eaten a bit here and there.
I love how the rusty chimes are paired with skeletons, both things long past their prime.
Ah.. the crimes of.. youth re-visit now.. soul of age.. the dark of new.. old of time.. truly feeling pain.. of others past.. in soul of now.. to leave in grace.. a new day is now.. to live in hope.. with crimes eraZse..in now @least..:)
We all have our secrets but at times they are too much to handle alone!
“I’m eaten by the secret of my crimes,
in hidden wardrobes of my skeletons,
hear rusty bells of hide-and-seek, the chime”
Brilliantly done Bjorn, smiles.
Is that just a terza rima…or is that a trireme sonnet? Like the line about hiding the treasures of your words with lies.
Trireme Sonnet has rhyme scheme ABC ABC … Terza Rima the ABA BCB .. So this should be a Terza Rima
Thanks for clarification. I really do like the terza rima format.
The nested scheme can go on for ever actually..
Tony wrote a prompt for it once..
Samual Peralta (who invented the form) wrote about it here:
where’s Diogenes when we need him ? I have quite a few memories that shame me, with only the defense of it seemed like a good idea at the time…
excellent write…..and yes those secret words you hide…..I feel them eating inside…… and that’s scary…
Words kept hidden from the souls around you can become klaxons to the soul within you. An eternal bitter pill that swallows you.
Looks like this terza Rima form is ideal for ruminations over the burdens of secrets. Love the layered metaphors woven into this poem.
The fourth stanza is great and strong. It could stand by itself.