Serpent and lion — Pleiades for dVerse


Serpent

summer sweetness lingers
sinfully like honeyed
strawberries as serpent’s
slithered constellation
softly in deceitful lies
sings temptations as
space is cold and empty

Serpens Caput, Corona Borealis

Leo

like royal feline roars
luxuriously selfish
lazily commands you
labor for the regent!
lay interests aside
let constellations rule
loneliness always cold

Constellation Leo
Today Vandana Sharma runs dVerse MTB. I thought I had gotten the form right. Seven six-syllable lines starting with with the same letter, a one word title starting with the same letter. Form is called Pleiades, and subject should be celestial. I choose to use two constellations.

October 16, 2014

35 responses to “Serpent and lion — Pleiades for dVerse

  1. Slithered constellation and royal feline roars – I admire how you gave personality to each one, with the backdrop of the cold and lonely space ~

  2. ha. i am a leo…and sometimes i get lonely….smiles.

    the honeyed strawberries is a cool line break in the first one….i like how you play with serpent and fruit in that first one…

    you did well with this one…its quite short which can make it a bit tougher…and six syllables is more than one hand of fingers for me..ha…

  3. great work,!!, even among the cluster of stars the two speak of loneliness, but I am sure it is transient only.

    the subject can be any but we had decided to use the heavenly objects.

    thanks for your participation!!

  4. A sterling take on the prompt, letter & syllable perfect, of course, brother. I just went with the basic definition of the form, so mine has
    syllables running off the page. I like the Serpent slightly better than the Lion; sounds like a Swedish Pub, THE SERPENT & THE LION.

  5. Enjoyed reading both, but favoring the Serpent. I like your use of such descriptives as “summer sweetness lingers sinfully,” and “softly in deceitful lies” Great imagery for such a tempting serpent.

  6. someone likes this form… in your first piece, i liked the contrast from the sweetness in the beginning and closing with a bitter end… great job, as usual

  7. Those are some heavenly verses Bjorn! I especially like the soft, sensousness of the first one. So fitting.

  8. Those serpent temptations have to be warm to work…in cold air 🙂
    loneliness- cold, can it rull? don’t think for too long…~ nice on form and characters x

  9. These are both great…luscious words and images…but I particularly love the contrasts in the first…ie between the sweetness of strawberries and slithering serpents. Beautiful phrasing.

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