The oily river floats like molten lead, trying in vain to swallow my lugubrious memories.
The last day at the hospice you said;
– Remember, I will always walk beside you
But after you left I have only seen the sooty mist of nothingness.
– I’m so alone, I say with tears dry as sand burning behind my eyelids.
That’s when, through the thick clouds I see the sweetness of your face. I smile as I fill my pockets with rocks, and I feel lighter now than ever.
And as the icy water fills my mouth I hear our song is playing.
Copyright Erin Leary
First of all, my apologies for all stories I couldn’t read last week. I spent most of my weekend celebrating the 85th birthday of my mother. I hope to compensate by reading more this week.
Friday Fictioneers is a wonderful way to share stories on the same picture. It’s masterfully managed by Rochelle, and the amount of work she does is amazing.
—
—
January 15, 2014
Björn Rudbergs writings 
A hard walk. But a creative story.
Thank you
Fantastic last line
Thank you ..
Very interesting – the last sentence gave me goosebumps. Thanks! Nan
Ooh mission accomplished
Very moving. Read it four times and still can feel the emotions.
DJ
Oh thank you..
Just love the last two lines….fabulous.
They are a little sad… glad you like them anyway
It gave me a goosebumps as he feels lighter than ever.
Ahh love goosebumps
A chilling story, very deep and kicks a punch in so little words. The last part was especially spine-shiver, at the rocks in pockets line I held my breather in, thinking “OH, no, whats going on?”.
Thank you.. yes to capture a whole story in very few words is fun..
Beautiful but also very sad, Björn!
Well developed end-of-life story, Bjorn–sad times for the couple.
I love the contrast of feeling “lighter” with a pocket full of rocks.
A poetic piece Bjorn, a sorrowful piece
Pingback: Friday Fictioneers – Discount Tour | The Blurred Line·
Whew! Pretty depressing take on the prompt. But I guess it was a pretty depressing prompt. For a moment I wondered why your were so happy to fill your pockets with rocks. Then the other shoe dropped…
geez….sometimes grief if too much….def felt this as you went through…cant imagine rocking your pockets and taking that step but i can the feeling and longing of the release….
A bittersweet tale as only you can tell it.
On a happier note, it’s lovely that you were able to spend time celebrating with your mother and your family. How wonderful!
Very sad but beautifully written and very descriptive.
That was terribly sad. Nicely written.
I was just luxuriating in the fine feel and that lovely word,”lugubrious”,and jogging along,feeling a little sad,when wham!I was WTH!What an end Bjorn-a gut wrenching one-am still gasping!
Woah, woah – that’s such a wrenching ending. I hope it is pure fiction.
“The oily river floats like molten lead.” I very much like the sound of this line. Another tragic end. Misty prompts make us reach deep into the trenches, don’t they?
Heartbreaking!
Read and re-read this Björn, and very moving. Such a difficult ending, but then there are many of those in life. Well done.
beautiful story…honest sentiment. Negotiating the path of grief can be mind bending and at the same time, mind opening.
Peace Bjorn.
Quite stunningly sad.
wow. you write these so well..these pieces that are heartbreaking but so beautifully written. happy birthday to your mom!
I feel sad. Stop the music and save that guy! But very effecting story and great use of the prompt.
How many times have you broken my heart, Bjorn!? Just sayin’ …
Very effective.
Hi Bjorn,
This is a beautiful, wrenchingly sad piece. From the first line, it grabbed me and held me all the way through. And I really like the title. You should be really proud of this one. Ron
terrific little tale
Ow, beautifully written Bjorn
Dear Björn,
Beautifully sad. Well done.
No apologies necessary for celebrating your mother’s birthday. 😉
shalom,
Rochelle
Such sadness captured in such rare words
So sad and heartfelt. I felt his pain.
Just, wow! You pack it full with so much. The dry tears behind burning eyelids leaves an impression me. Happy Birthday to your mom! That’s great you got to spend it with her.
i love your descriptive line, “sooty mist of nothingness…” what an image for the imagination.
also, happy belated birthday wishes to your mom. how wonderful being 85 years young. cheers!
“the sooty mist of nothingness.” I like that and the rest of this melancholic story.
Outstanding writing, Bjorn. Beautiful language. One of your best.
That’s some very strong writing, Bjorn. This one got to me.
Should I ever reach that point in life, may there be a choice for painless lethal injection.