The old deck – Friday Fictioneers

The old deck had been polished by weather and wind. Sven recalled when it was still giving off splinters, but now he let the planks kiss memories of happier times on his blistered soles.

Coming back he understood that they had all moved away leaving him in lingering limbo.

For Sven nothing had changed. He still loved Ellie, but she had left, taking little Sam with her.

He sat down on the deck and closed his eyes.

As the sun burned his eyelids he saw the image of Ellie and her sister. Undecided he had loved and lost them both.

(100 words)

Copyright - Adam Ickes

Copyright – Adam Ickes


Wednesday it’s the time when Rochelle the celebrated Curator for the blogging community Friday Fictioneers release a new picture for us do our best creating a 100 word story or poem about. I try to hit the 100 word limit sharp, but the community is quite tolerant.



December 11, 2013

39 responses to “The old deck – Friday Fictioneers

  1. i’m still deciding on whether or not i should feel sorry for him. what a great twist. second to the last sentence, i decided he was a total douche. then with the last sentence, i felt sorry for him again. great job 🙂

  2. He is surprised the wood can splinter…just like their patience…he waited until the weather polished the wood, instead of doing it himself, and others would not wait. He is a man who likes a life smooth, but doesn’t understand the sacrifices needed to make it smooth. There is a lot in your story there Bjorn, well done.

  3. Oh such a different tone from you, but still beautifully written. I was not expecting that end. 🙂 However, guess I do not feel for him at all….but loved the emotions here.

  4. Two sisters, game over, man. Game over. Love the line “he let the planks kiss memories of happier times on his blistered soles”. One note, I think you have an extra “he” in “He still he loved Ellie”. Great story!

  5. Agreeing with the general consensus of Sven and wondering whether Sam is a boy or the sister’s nickname. Although I like the idea of the planks and the memories, I’m wondering whether ” the kiss of the planks on his blistered soles brought memories of happier times” might make more sense. Guess I can’t get planks kissing memories onto feet. 🙂 Could just be me.

    janet

  6. Ooops…sometimes it just doesn’t work out this loving two sisters. Still sometimes love is a difficult game, poor Sven, but mostly poor Sam.

  7. Hi Bjorn,
    While most of us focused in on those boots, you saw something different, the deck. It’s great the way the story becomes clear with that final line. As the song says, you’ve got to make up your mind, and pick up on one and leave the other behind. If you don’t, you’ll probably be the one left behind, like Sven. Excellent story. Ron

  8. What is that saying? A bird in hand is better than two in the bush? Well, whatever it is…I’m for one “happily-ever-after”. Guess I’m old-fashioned…or just plain old. 😆

  9. “..he let the planks kiss memories of happier times on his blistered soles.”Bjorn this really spoke volumes to me!A sad tale of lost love and regrets-wonderfully told:-)

  10. Having been in a position of loving two people at the same time and having to choose, I actually feel kind of sorry for him. But one must choose or lose all. I chose. He didn’t. Great story Bjorn!

  11. This is what happens when you can’t decide! I did kind of feel sorry for him. It was probably the splinters and the blistering feet that did it for me. Great story, as always.

  12. Loving two sisters? Recipe for disaster!
    I loved the image of “planks kiss memories of happier times on his blistered soles” – very nice.

  13. Pingback: The old deck | Björn Rudbergs writings·

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