Carpe Diem Haiku – Land of the free and trifecta

The anticipation had been building up a while and the tremors made it hard to handle the spoon, the candle and the leather strap. Still he finally would find his way to the land beyond the dumpsters of crushed dreams. To the glittering hope of what he recalled from his childhood summer beaches.

In the clear drop on syringe-tips he thought he saw glimpses of freedom.

Once he had found the right vein his shaking miraculously ceased, and he became totally calm. Slowly he watched the needle penetrate his skin, right next to a line of scars that wormed his arms as a legacy to his dark mistress.

Snowflakes melted on his hands as he crossed the threshold to azure dreams.

He wore a frozen smile on his face when he was found the next morning. It was a mask of the joy he felt in his last entrance to the land of the free. The harshness from his face was now gone and the summer boy had once again resurfaced.

When acid dreams melt his iron face, he’s once more building sandcastles.

Picture from wikimedia common

Picture from wikimedia common

A couple of weeks I learned about the technique of “american sentences”. A fascinating way of composing haiku invented by Alan Ginsburg. I tried to combine this with Basho’s haibun to tell a story. This is my second effort, I hope you like the effect.

I link this to Trifecta as well as Carpe Diem the word melt in the meaning :
3 to make tender or gentle : soften seem to fit well.

This is also my 900’th blog entry. Only 100 left to the magic of 1000 entries.

December 11, 2013

33 responses to “Carpe Diem Haiku – Land of the free and trifecta

  1. It is certainly a terrible thing when drugs become a relief. Nice story. I miss a morale in it, though, I miss knowing what you think. But you let me, the reader, focus on that thing.

  2. I love the effect. Great use of the “american sentences.” Not easy to do, but you pulled it off and gave them a dreamlike (or drug-induced) quality. Sad, but well rendered portrayal of the addict. Nice piece.

  3. Björn, I’m always so amazed with your writing – then to notice that you are also trying out new techniques and linking to multiple prompts…wow. Impressive all around. Great write! I loved crossed the threshold to azure dreams.

  4. Wow! Totally different take and so well done. Had to read it twice, but that’s what I get for watching the Avengers just before and having super hero serum injections on the brain…that would have been an interesting take too.

  5. I am amazed, as usual. I hace to read again and think some more. Congrats on nearly 1000posts! Glad you shared another cool poetry poece.

  6. Björn, first of all, congratulations on 900 posts! So much beautiful writing, experimentation and style. :))

    As for this piece, the beauty of the technique you’ve used works so very well with the difficult subject. You’ve given the character a heart, and have forced us as readers to see a complete person, not just an addiction.

    And, you’ve written clearly of the pain and the longing for escape.

    Thank you for this wonderful work, sir. Very well realized

    • I couldn’t do it with haiku really.. to go into grittiness you have to change itself.. but still Ginsberg was a Buddhist and developed these which are a little bit like the one-line haiku we write sometimes..

  7. a sad tale…an escape that def can kill or get its hooks in you and not let go…i’ve known a few…and on some level ran with the escape crowd in high school and college…

  8. Very hard hitting -powerful imagery!The lines,”a line of scars that wormed his arms as a legacy to his dark mistress.” and the last sentence were really amazing!Your writing ,as I have said time and again Bjorn is something else-wow!

  9. Oh my…what a powerfully moving work of art here. Very good use of the American Lines. Terrifying the image you painted: When acid dreams melt his iron face, he’s once more building sandcastles.

  10. Beautifully tragic, Bjorn. I think of all of the potential lost to addiction, and it staggers my mind. Your style with this piece was wonderfully executed as well!

  11. I had to Google “American sentences,” and I have to say that I love the concept. You’ve done a beautiful job here. I love how the three poems seem to show the progressive effect of the drug. What a wonderful piece.

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