50 responses to “An empty chalice – for dVerse”

1. Lovely.

   • Thank you 🙂

2. Oh, this is chilling! “Emptiness” really doesn’t take much to achieve, if that is one’s chosen path!

   • Those first time experiences… a memory but also brief and short 🙂

3. “all sweetness ends too soon” oh how true is that? and how achingly sad, that we can’t always hold happiness with both hands for long.

   it was beautiful.

   • Thank you.. 🙂 I enjoyed writing in metaphors…

     • well you’re good at it, so I like that you like write in metaphors too. 🙂
       HAPPY THURSDAY

4. “the singer’s platitudes as wrinkles on your brow” that is gorgeous.

   • Thank you 😉

   • Thank you 😉 Sometimes the rhymes help to drive the poem

5. first, great rhyme scheme in this…cool imagery in the opening stanza of the dew drop on the flower…nice layering with each stanza…and that last one, very pointed and brings home the feeling and emotion well…

   • Thank you 😉 I liked doing yet a ballad

   • Thank you – I enjoyed writing metaphors

6. I’ve seen that Dali painting before but you have given it meaning for me. Beautiful write and agree that the platitudes as wrinkles on the brow is brilliant.

   • thank you – and all those metaphors.

7. Lovely… I especially like the last 6 lines.

   • Thank you 🙂

8. Bjorn, this is a wonderful example of using imagery not only to capture that first experience but also to share what the feeling was like when it was over, as though we are doomed to emptiness or another sort of fullness. So well done.

   • Thank you… 🙂 It was a challenging prompt.

9. Oh, wow. Yes, life is too short, and at the start of it seems so long. Well done.

   • Ah thank you.. and I love how my metaphors can be read in many way… that works well to..

     • That’s the beauty of what we do.

10. Oh… that is a lovely write. Good use of imagery.

    • Thank you… that was the imagery I came up with…

      • Oh yes… a little fouled up previous comment. I meant to say… really good imagery in your words.

      • 🙂

11. Oh, the tragedy of impermanence. So stunningly conveyed, Bjorn!

    • Ah.. yes… short and sweet..

12. Sweetness, like this poem, ends too soon. Very nice rhythm (I love the movement of a ballad!), and wonderfully fresh handling of an old subject.

    • Thank you.. unfortunately that first experience ended too soon..

13. Have to rate this one at 5 stars, brother, for you rocked the prompt & the ballad form. I do envy how effortlessly you express modern thoughts in classic forms; never sacrificing content for form; nice job; thanks.

    • Thanks back.. I loved to let loose a little and be a little cryptic..

14. killer closure, and steady rhythm throughout. I enjoyed this lots!

    • Thank you .. I like you enjoyed it… 🙂

15. It actually croons to me like some reminiscence….then the end verse, kudos! Good work!

16. Well crafted – truth about a first love is chilling. Your use of texture throughout gives the poem real depth as well as the rhyme and meter.

17. excellent imagery
    there still remains the fragrant memory…

18. I enjoyed this!

19. Beautiful!

20. The moment brief but, still lingers longer in the mind..as it was still sweet..

21. Bjorn this is really good. Spicy with a twist. Well done.

22. I too am partial to the 3rd stanza for the acute nostalgia for someone’s response to platitudes.

23. First love or life-long love lasting through the wrinkles–what is sweet seems brief. I like the feel of the ice-cream sundae or soda at the end with that long spoon to catch the very last drop when it empties.

24. Something of the bittersweet, just getting a taste before it’s gone…a lyrical beauty… 🙂

25. You take the platitudes, play with them and subvert them into something more meaningful – I like that!

26. It could go on forever – but
    all sweetness end too soon
    the finished chalice – emptiness
    was just a single spoon

    How cruel, the nice ones never can last! But it lingers on! Wonderful take Bjorn!

    Hank

27. The fate of the rose…fades and loses its bloom into emptiness..

28. this was a beautiful read for me.. and the last line especially will linger in my memory..

29. I liked this fulfilling the prompt so well , it goes beyond the page and the words are felt

30. Wonderful. Such rich imagery.

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