I wanted to write yet another poem about the creatures of mythology to be shared on dVerse open link night.
The Neck is a shape shifting water spirit that lure women with his music and them pull them under. His attraction is connected to many sins like sex and music. The painting below by Swedish painter Ernst Jospehson has even been placed on a Swedish stamp once. It was a long time since I tried a Villanelle so I tried it this time.
Strömkarlen by Ernst Josephson
in summer nights you hear his violin
but playing music is how Neck deceit
‘cause if you join him you can never win
he calls and promises the bliss of sin
I know you are attracted, by his heat
in summer nights you hear his violin
in moonlight you can see his marble skin
you are unwilling but still move your feet
‘cause if you join him you can never win
but to advice of elders you just grin
and for his lure I know your heart will beat
in summer nights you hear his violin
I beg you please to stay and join my kin
instead sit down and make your wedding sheet
‘cause if you join him you can never win
you want to dance and in the in river spin
he’ll pull you down below my maiden sweet
in summer nights you hear his violin
‘cause if you join him you can never win
—
May 07, 2013
There are men like this.
Ah, that’s a good point.
awesome Bjorn! loved the flow
Villanelle flows like a river 😉
Nice! A nice message, and pentameters are difficult to write. Or, I myself find them difficult to write. You are an expert.
Thank you, sometimes it flows quite easily. And this one was easy compared to the sestina I wrote last week 🙂
ah nice…the vilanelle repetitition works well with the theme…the vilanelle is my fav form poetry form…really well done björn…
I love Villanelle too, but I find them so hard to make well
Such a challenging form, I like the repetitive lines ~ A lovely story (or lessons) told ~
– thank you but I really like Villenelle’s
Wonderful form, intriguing back story.
Thank you Steve 😉
I always enjoy your use of form, and here I learnt about The Neck, which sounds a bit like the male equivalent of a siren…I’ll be careful around violin players in future : )
Actually it’s said the best violin players have learned it from the Neck
Bjorn, you chose brilliant rhyme sounds for the form. That is half the battle, don’t you think?
There are a lot of rhymes to pick… but I love both Villanelle and rondeau.. great forms.
Well. it’s no secret I love Villanelle…and again, this one is so beautifully executed. Love it’s subtle build Bjorn.
Thank you… yes I do know that you love Villanelle (and so do I) … that one and Rondeu are my favorite forms.
I’ve never written Roneu… I will at it to my list to try. 🙂
Ack! Rondeu. Lol
Excellent villanelle. This “Neck” sounds very dangerous to me. I would stay away.
Yes, but he had the purpose of frightening off children and women from the water…
very cool form sir, carrying its own music that lures us in…ha…and interesting on the neck and it speaking to the allure of the sins as well…not one to be toyed with…
and hey i just wanted to say i appreciate you…i notice the work you are putting in reaching out to others…and it is def appreciated…and encouraging…
Of course sin is alluring.. 🙂
I think he might be a relative the the Rheinmaidens from Wagner’s opera’s
As for reading ,, Reading is more than half the fun of prompts. That’s the only way to develop my poetry.
Wonderfully rhythmic.
Thank you.. there are some advantages with iambic poetry.. 🙂
I really like the form..this one line really sticks
out as I hear the bow against the strings – luring
“in summer nights you hear his violin”
Thank you.. yes that lure — and summer nights can be so beautiful
This villanelle flows so well…you have inspired me to write one Well done!
I look forward to read it.
Love the form and a wonderful story, too!
Thank you 🙂
I really like the music and images in this poem. I’ve never heard of the mythological character that you described, but I think you capture his spirit quite wonderfully and magically. Since when is sex a sin 🙂
Thank you.. 🙂 sex is no sin in my world, but in the eyes of the narrator of my poem it is… a fiancee concerned that his girlfriend will leave him might think along those lines.
I like the repetitive lines, I love the flow of this. Lovely.
Thank you 🙂 repetition is part of the form
I know nothing of form…but if repitition is part of the villanelle…this certainly works. I found myself atrracted to the Neck…a kind of male Circe…and I know if I joined him, i too would never win…Nice piiece, Bjorn!
The repetitions is part of the Villanelle… the really hard thing is to get the repeated lines to change meaning depending on context… So probably when you read it, the intonation would change. This Villanelle was only partly good…
The Neck has many relatives, and certainly waternymphs and mermaids…
If you inserted a guitar where he plays violin, I’m pretty sure I dated him. Loved the story. I hadn’t read about Neck before.
Oh bad boys with guitars are very risky,,
You tackled a difficult form and succeeded. Well done 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Awesome…interesting and well done. Always a joy to read your work.
Peace
Siggi
Thank you. It’s based on a prompt on dVerse from last week.
I love villanelles, but they are tricky. Nice job on this one.
I love them too.. also triolets and rondeaus are among my favorites..
A new fable and a villanelle to descibe him and his callings and
summer nights that call us anyway with thoughts of warmth and body…this hits the mark and leads us in to his “middle” world…thankyou.
Thank you so much 🙂
Myth, villanelle, seduction–perfect recipe. I really enjoyed this. You are brave writing the form, which I fine so difficult to write without clunkiness. Yours is as smooth as that mythical violin. With a bit of wax for each ear, I’d like to see a Neck. How delighted I am to know that sirens have a counterpart. 😉
Thank you 🙂 I love writing form. Somehow the iambs come easy to me.
Very alluring villanelle !! Love the mythopoeic touch !!
Thank you 😉
Good villanelles are like hen’s teeth … incredibly rare, so kudos for writing one in English. The pentameter is fabulous.
Thank you, I worked on it quite a lot.. but the repeated lines (esp the second) I really was never quite satisfied with. In the best one’s the meaning change by the context… and you are still locked by the rhyme.
But I really love Villanelle, and will explore it further.
Ah, the lure… 🙂 I am terribly lacking in knowledge of form but I certainly enjoyed what you did here and can imagine hearing the strains of violin temptation floating in the summer night’s breeze.
Ah, I am the other way around. I try to write form, and whenever I try to write form, I always get back to it somehow (inventing a new form) … Thank you for commenting
Beautiful.. 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Lovely music in this… And I think I have heard that violin on many a warm summer night. Smiles….
And then the lure to go to the water–
This is beautiful, Bjorn. You are a fascinating poet.
Pamela
Thank you Pamela 🙂
Very mysterious tale and I love the photo you used. Nice poetry form.
Thank you Linda 🙂
Successful combination of storytelling and form–great rhythm.
Great form choice for your subject, Bjorn. I wasn’t familiar with the Neck before I read this, but it seems you’ve caught his spirit in the piece. Thanks for sharing!