Mary at dVerse wants us to write poetry about a mythological or fairy tale character moved into a modern surrounding. Mine came from the Greek Mythology and should be well known. I can’t write heroic hexameter, so iambic has to be sufficient. Today is Easter, and we have guests tonight, so I will be coming late into the bar.
Picture from Wikimedia Commons.
he’s working as a bouncer in the local bar
but should have been a hero of the battlefield
the muscles of his body like a grecian god
a serious contender for olympic gold
but now he’s doomed a cheater using chemicals
the styxian water that his mother gave him
is deemed a dopant by the WADA expertise
he’s now a lonely outcast in society
collecting all the debts for Hector’s maffia
he should have been the nation’s hero, but is not
ironically now, with body an Achilles’s heel
—
March 30, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
BR this IS very good, he definitely is his own Achilles heal, from one that could have had it all…to being rejected…shall the mother be blamed entirely?
But Achilles was dipped and thus doped by her mother 😉
you’ve served us a little humor today
Sometimes humor is important too.
Excellent contribution to the bar today! Ha,with such a hero’s body he definitely should be doing something more than being a bouncer in the bar for sure. Smiles!
Got this crazy idea that he would probably be prohibited from comptetition ..
the fitness industry fueled by old statues …….
🙂
🙂 indeed
smiles…we have seen more and more that athletes turn to using to meet the expectations we put on them…i dont take our responsibility out of the equation you know…we buy into it with our sports fanaticism…really nicely done…like your ending on achilles heel…and i wonder what part of it all that is the metaphor…maybe buying into it all…
Thank you, I just assumed that today those old heroes would get into a lot of problems. And today’s battlefield is really the sports arena.
What fun – and what a sad commentary on the state of sport in our modern world.
Thank you, and certainly the sport’s world has turned quite sordid.
Bjorn, this is great! Poor, misplaced hero.
Thank you. As I got the idea my finger started itching.
haha…so cool…the old heroes surely had their doping as well, just no one who took blood tests..
I wonder if water from the river Styx would show up in blood test.
…ah, truly one can get nought from cheating… only temporary pleasure not fitted for a longer cause… great one…smiles…
Nope, there is no free ride… 😉
Excellent and very topical…in Australia, there’s a big scandal going on…the woes of modern day sport…fab choice!
We all have scandals, and nobody is more despised than a cheating hero.
Like the take on those poor misguided souls ~ Alas fall too soon, like Achilles’s heels ~
🙂 thank you.
Love this!
and I love the iambic pentameter (roll over Ezra!)
cool story, too. Great job, here.
Thank you.. 😉
Wry look at the spectator side of sport.
It all seems a bit hypocritical that we want to see the very best, but borderline performance enhanced. Interesting take.
And all the old hero’s strength was achieved by methods that today would be considered cheating. Image the genetic manupilation of cross breeding with gods…
Oh this is clever… amusing…and you’re quiet possibly right!
He wouldn’t stand a chance against WADA
It is a sad fall from being a hero to where he has fallen. You have captured this so well.
Yup, he was doomed when he was dipped in Styx
yeah, these guys get all muscled up just to look good and act vain, all unheard of in days past when only the warriors look that way
Cinderella Limerick
Athlets are the modern warrior I think.
Oh, that’s a good one, Bjorn. Good write with lots of truth to it.
Oh thank you.
Fun take on the lie behind consumer sports
Yup, lies until you are exposed
This is wonderful. I was a bit distracted (ahem) by the pic as I kept thinking of Apollo and not Achilles (not that it truly matters). It is very clever and well=crafted. k.
Apollo would have been excluded too, Gods do not pass the genetic tests.
A really great take on this one..how far will one go to get the finish line.
Achilles mother dipped him in the river of death. That’s pretty far I think
Fitness esp a well toned one seems to be paying a price…courtesy the insatiable hunger for success and money…
There has lways been a price to pay.
arghh…with such a physique, he really should have been somewhere else!! The pursuit of money is in some ways a very shallow thing…Fantastic writing, Brudberg! 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Sad that our modern day heroes give in to substances – their Achilles heals. Nice write.
Thank you 🙂
Very nice move of hero to the modern setting. A bar? Good one.;-)