On Saturday Gretchen Leary on Dverse suggested to write a poem based on a piece of music we like. And now on dVerse open link night I can share a sonnet based on a song. At 100wcgu i got a phrase
.. despite the pounding in my head…
So I link this poetry there as well.
Picture is from wikimedia commons
I must, despite the pounding in my head
on silent feet keep hunting streets at night
I’m neither ‘mong the living nor the dead
the blood I crave has never been my right
I was among the innocent and young
but sinful deprivation and my urge
became my fall, I heard the devil’s tongue
now only sunshine can my anguish purge
she’s walking on abandoned moonlit streets
I see the beauty of her marble neck
despite the love I feel, the hunger beats
and instinct drives me on this deadly trek
they say I must destroy the things I love
I know for me there is no god above
—
And inspiration for this poem is of course “Moon over Bourbon Street” by Sting.
March 12, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I am so glad I followed, this is exquisite Brudberg.. the second line in the 1st stanza and the 2nd line in the 3rd – brilliant.
Thank you 🙂 Great inspirational song.
Oh wow, this is just a stunning piece of vampire poetry, so dark and angst ridden… I just love this!
Thank you 🙂
Fantastic. You say the vampire in fact is self-destructive. And I wonder why. Is it because he is no longer qualified to reach the satisfaction of his love? I love this poem. The message is great and the form is perfect. To write iambic pentameters is not easy, and the rhyme is perfect. You really have a command of this.
Many thanks 🙂 it’s another take on the vampire legend.
Jeg er målløs av beundring. 🙂 Jeg er glad jeg ikke kjenner meg igjen i diktene dine når du skriver sånn.
Tack, det är något jag lärt mig gradvis. 🙂
Me too, sånn som jeg tenker. For jeg tenker altså på det å kjenne seg igjen. Jeg tar stand mot den måten å være på. Men jeg erkjenner, etter en del fundering, at det har jeg gjort. Gud tilgi meg! † Den avsluttende distich’en var en vekker for meg.
Chilling and perfect! This one, I’ll print out 🙂
I’m honored
This is so powerful … the tale of a vampire … wow !!!
Thanks 🙂
see this is why i don’t walk on abandoned moonlit streets…goodness…you’ve given me the creeps with this one… smiles..cool rhythm in your words björn
Those moonlit fangs .. Ah they come for you
Love it!!!! It may inspire me to write a little vampiric one myself 🙂 x
Oh do, it’s so cool
Creepy and bloody. Excellent.
Thank you 🙂
Bjorn, you have the sonnet form, the rhyme scheme and the metre perfect. The subject matter is a little strange for the sonnet, but that makes it all the better in my view. I think some of your lines were driven by the requirements of the rhyme scheme, but overall you have handled this pretty well.
Thank you, the vampire myth is fantastic and can be tweaked in many ways.
Nonsense. The lines are perfect. But you need, I believe, to read the poem through once to get the overall meaning to be able to appreciate the lines one by one.
It is an opinion – hence introducing it with “I think…” And for at least one line, I stand by my opinion. We will have to agree to disagree – one of the joys of poetry and literary criticism 🙂
Guys I appreciate all opinions. Please don’t quarrel about my poem.
We’re not quarreling; we’re having a dfifference of opinion 🙂
🙂 good but I appreciate your criticism, only way for me to improve.
there is an interesting romanticism with vampirism…the intimacy of taking a life and the throb of someones pulse on your tongue…but in the end i wonder if they wanted to die…or would they knowing this curse that would be on them…and then of course…there is love…
It’s a myth with many layers. I think it’s well suited for poetry.
I’m generally not a fan of vampires, but your poem sets a wonderful scene. Sad to have to destroy the things one loves.
That line is a direct quote from Sting’s song. Paints a different Vampire picture.
This was interesting to read, a sonnet about vampire love ~ I like the form and message as well, that ending couplet is well done ~
Thank you 🙂
This is beautifully haunting.
Thank you 🙂
Yikes – you are a very eloquent vampire! k.
I wanted to paint some depth the vampire… just like the song by Sting
Gracefully written sonnet on a subject I have always found fascinating. Sonnets are a bear to write, I all but given up hopes of ever writing one. I did try once and it was an awful mess.
Pamela
I try, but to get it perfect would be very difficult. I started to write iambic poetry on twitter… and that helped me.
I love this sonnet. I find them difficult to write, but yours flows beautifully.
Thank you. A few improvements I might do. But it’s a great piece of music to help.
Hi Bjorn,
Know the song well… And lovely fashioned work from you here – some exceptional artful and musical lines here – atreat to read… With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Well told Björn. I wonder what it is that fascinates us about vampires…
Anna :o]
I think it’s actually some deeper symbilic meanings in the vampire stories.
I don’t really ‘do’ vampires but your poem touched me.
I do them every now and then, but also other dark stories. I use the sonnet form for “story telling”. And dark stories fascinates.
really beautifully written..seductive and dark…thank you
Thank you for reading and commenting. 🙂
I do so love Sting and this song. There are periods when I listen to nothing but Sting – it’s kind of an annual thing.
Your poem – highlights everything seductive about vampires. Love Song For A Vampire by Annie Lennox comes to mind….
Good I have to check it out. Sting’s song was the first vampire song that came to mind. And I have Sting periods myself too.
Gruesome
🙂 a little
This is beautiful – I love the flow of the stanzas. And you’ve got me feeling sorry for your vampire.
Good, that was the pupose… 🙂 Here he is a victim too.
Fabulous writing and a brilliant story.
Thank you 🙂