This week 100 Words Challenge for Grown-ups is the word grey, which lends itself to some dreary poetry. I try to do another rondeau. Frankly I think the whining guy I describe deserves to be left… But maybe I’m wrong ;-). 87 words.
so grey inside, I’m left alone
in heavy dread I’m on my own
you never left for other man
from suffocating love you ran
I’m here by silent telephone
my empty house, this bird had flown
despite fidelity I’d shown
to leave had always been your plan
so grey inside
I thought we were together sewn
for you, the love, an empty loan
the last I heard you were in Cannes
importance is to get a tan
I must my destiny bemoan
so grey inside
—
November 26, 2012
Björn Rudbergs writings 
He is a bit of a sorry case!
Indeed
I agree with Lucid Gypsy. Suffocating love is no gift to the one who can’t breathe. I’m glad she got away.
Starting to write it was not my intention that he would end up such a sad case….
Oh…..poor thing. You lot are too harsh. Can’t you see how much he is suffering? Shame on you! Sending big hugs to alleviate the suffering.
🙂 I think he’s improving, and now gain energy to begin stalking.
This would be good set to music. Like the idea of love as an empty loan.
I think that there are a lot of rondeau compositions out there, it follows exactly the poem “In flanders fields..”
And based on tetrameter it should be easy to sing.
Oh dear. Sounds like he could do with some therapy to work on intimacy issues – unfortunately suffocating someone isn’t love – it’s am unmet need! But at least he sees it – I have a feeling he actually wants to change after the worst is over.
Probably… maybe a little
Maybe this could be the turning point in his life, preparing him for a proper, two-sided, give-and-take, loving relationship
Either that or go into stalking.
Accusing the other of “always planning to leave” isn’t a great start for understanding why the relationship didn’t work out…
I agree, would be nice with music!
Agree.. but I guess he felt used. Regarding music. I think there are a number of different melodies out there that fit a rondeau.
He sounds bitter as well as sad. Desperate thoughts of a desperate man.
Truly sad man…
Just thought about one thing. Would it be differently interpreted if it is woman ?
The poor, poor man – it’s a good thing he has himself to sympathize with! I love your line “the last I heard you were in Cannes” – unexpected and funny!
Some of these poetry styles you simply run out of rhymes 🙂
But you found one, and it really adds a nice extra glow to the poem!
Prelude to this.
Cheers!
JzB
Indeed