As my colours drain into shades of grey
my brimstone heart becomes the devil’s pawn
I should not have strayed from the narrow way
When noose tightens, my weight pulling me down
a penance in pain as price has to be paid
as my colours drain into shades of grey
I’m dancing on ember with charcoal swans
I’m stumbling alone it’s too late to pray
and on my head I bear a burning crown.
and tethered in chains stripped of my gown
as my colours drain into shades of grey
when burdened like this I’m dragged into town
with citizen laughing, I am the clown
And when it’s corrected this is how it should be
As my colours drain into shades of grey
my brimstone heart becomes the devil’s pawn
barely afloat I’m struggling, soon I will drown
A penance in pain as price has to be paid
the noose tightens, my weight pulling me down
as my colours drain into shades of grey
my brimstone heart becomes the devil’s pawn
I’m stumbling alone it’s too late to pray
and on my head I bear a burning crown.
and tethered in chains stripped of my gown
as my colours drain into shades of grey
my brimstone heart becomes the devil’s pawn
barely afloat I’m struggling, soon I will drown
Today Laura hosta MTB with the Chaucerian Roundel at dVerse which I hope I’m done right.
It was a bit tricky…
Somehow I think it ties well into Rósalia’s new song. I have her new album on repeat just now.
November 13, 202
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I can’t say that I would want to go on a pilgrimage of pain, but I love how your Chaucerian roundel emerges out of those ‘shades of grey’. A dark roundel, Björn.
and after reading Laura’s I probably need to rework it again…
I have added a corrected version now.
Its a beautiful poem Bjorn – but strays far from the Chaucerian Roundel’s rhyme scheme ( I guess you are a little distracted with planning your very exciting upcoming trip)
A; B1, B2; a,,b, A, B1/ a,b,b, A, B1, B2
Ha… I will rework a bit.
I believe it’s correct now 🙂
that was quick work and a brilliant fix – the poem blends so well with Goya’s black painting
p.s. and back in August I was in Madrid and saw the whole collection of his black paintings
I find them amazing… and they work so well with dark poetry… almost as good as Munch
Bjorn it falls together so nicely in the last stanza. Such vivid imagery of a person’s descent.
Thank you… I had problems with the form… but finally I got it together.
You are welcome. I liked the music and music video you shared also.
I agree with you, Björn, that Rósalia’s new song suits the poem to a tee, and the Goya painting is repainted through your words. I liked both the corrected and original versions, subtly different but suffused with the tenor of the terror, shall we say?! 🙂
It is an amazing song from an amazing album
I have to check it out, thanks for the intro., and by the way, all good wishes on your upcoming expedition.
So compelling!
Thank you….
“I’m dancing on ember with charcoal swans”
Bravo!!!
I hope i did it right also
much♡love
Alas I didn’t… but the charcoal swans had to go in my corrected version
👏👏👏
🙏🙏
A dark Roundel Björn, which I love – you paint Goya so well through your words and Rósalia’s new song is perfect 🖤
Thank you… it fitted an autumn mood as well
Your roundel is so dark, almost Gothic, and the accompanying painting and video accent your piece wonderfully. ✨
Thank you… dark and gothic is what I wanted to it to be.
Your poem really resonated with me, but I’m not sure why. It did make me think of this photo I saw by a distant relative who is a photographer in Italy. I wonder if I can still find the photo, but I can recall it in my mind, as it touched me the same way your poem did.
So nice… if you can find it I would love to see it.
I was looking through his website but haven’t found it yet. If I do I will post it. Domenico Guddo – He has some beautiful work
I like both versions and the association with the Goya who was a favourite of mine back when I was doing Atr A-level, and as for Roasalia – who would not love a serious artist who keeps a small orchestra on hand in her apartment…
Goya’s dark paintings are the best for some type of poetry… as for have the London Symphony tagging along it would be great.
So intense, Bjorn. However, it never is too late to pray. As the saying goes, while there’s life, there’s hope.
It maybe true… but when it as dark as it might be it does not feel that way
Kudos to you for returning to the original, redoing it to fit the challenge. As others have commented, both versions enjoyable. I also love and appreciate you kept the charcoal swans. Cheers.
Charcoal swans is a disturbing idea, make me think of the black swan in Swan Lake ballet.
I happen to love both versions, and especially, ‘my colors drain into shades of gray’.