Death tiptoed beside my mother for years, grabbing small pieces of her mind. He made her create a string of lovers she never had, repeating stories we already knew. When she started to leave her home without keys in a nightgown she had to move into assisted living.
Death continued to eat at her mind and left her confined to a wheel-chair without the ability to speak. Still she smiled and actually seemed happier without her mind intact.
Her funeral was a time to remember, to recall the times when she still was well, before the decade of decline had started.
dropping their heads
in the last days of May —
lilacs in bloom
Today Franks hosts dVerse Haibun Monday, and we should write a Haibun about the memory of death as it is memorial day in the US today.
May 26, 2025
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I always “enjoy” your haibun, and feel they are true, authentic and not a mere recital or such…here very much, with not just the subject, your mother, most sincere, but you kept the prose tight with the carefully dosed emtion, and the quietly stunning part that she seemed happier when life’s troubles had been removed – my interpretation, or one of them. The haiku about drooping lilacs in the fading May is just right, and I do think the haiku in italics really makes a difference in positive way. This really is why I personally love haibun.
On another topic, there is some medical academia currently saying vaccinations for shingles is good against dementia.
Thank you so much, and yes it is really a true prose, and the blooming lilacs is the time when I remember my mother most. As for vaccination against shingles I have taken it also for the reason that shingles is not something I want to have.
I like the alliterative title, Björn, which is a bit like a sad moan on recalling that time. Death tiptoed beside my mother too, I know that grabbing at small pieces of a mind. I’m in tears reading this. I love the haiku, and I’m glad she had the lilacs.
I know you had the same experience… and that feeling of a person dying in small steps is something many of us experience….
My sister lived with Alzheimer’s for 10 long years. You have captured it perfectly.
I really felt this, Bjorn. Beautiful haiku to dance off your prose.
Death can be so cruel, so cruel. I hope your mother enjoyed her imaginary lovers.
And here we are, writing our often imaginary poems.
I feel the pathos in this, Bjorn. My sympathies!
I like the parallelism between the haiku and the pros. It’s very very nice and fits quite well. Thank you for posting this.
A very difficult time for the family when dementia strikes.
Very well done Björn!
You portray death gradually coming for your mother so well Björn and the lilacs are a poignant anchor to your memories of your mother…
“Her funeral was a time to remember, to recall the times when she still was well, before the decade of decline had started.”
Hold on to those memories.
I love the way you ended this, with “lilacs in bloom.” Also this: “she … actually seemed happier without her mind intact.” ♡
Such a sad poem and season of life, but these pieces add tenderness and beauty to the poem. I’m so sorry for the pain you sustained going through this.
lilacs will always be the flower I remember her by… and the way that they droop is so special to me.
That comment and observation itself is beautiful. ♡
That was beautiful, Bjorn, especially the haiku part of the haibun. Although you speak of a sad moment, you do so with sweet grace.
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
I wrote of my mother-in-law dying of Alzheimers. It’s a cruel disease…perhaps memory loss has some perks? Sad for the suffering but glad for the lilacs in May!
My parents and in-laws all suffered that slow death in differing degrees. And now at 78 and 84 at times I see the scythe’s shadow in the room as we attempt to communicate.
Ah, you tell dementia so powerfully, eating, grabbing pieces of her mind, a death before death some have said, and a horrible experience for the family who journey with it (this I know) and yet this is so tender with its memory and recall by flowers.