Ami-Rose Bell, sleepless, high on whatever, sat at the formica table, doodling in the pallid grease film their bender had left.
Chuck left at dawn, going back to his wife.
It had been doomed, but the positive pregnancy test had given her hope.
That life inside her, now without purpose and meaning; Chuck’s anger had broken the spell and his fists had broken the rest.
It’s over, over, what does it matter? That.
The stars we see are already dead, an overcast dusk, mud under her shoes.
Her hand reached for the 38 he had left, caressing cold steel.
“Use it”, he’d said.
But to spite him, she wouldn’t.
She reached for her Iphone, a text to his wife was all it would take, but…
…that night Ami-Rose vanished without a trace.
A bodiless “murder”?
Who trusts a faithless husband?
Twenty years to life.
Today we are writing Prosery with Dora at dVerse, and she has chosen the line
What does it matter
That the stars we see are already dead.
From the poem “Laura Palmer Graduates” by poet Amy Woolard.
Our task is as usually to incorporate the text into our own prose of less or equal to 144 words.
April 8, 2024
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Wow! Impressed by what you did in 144 words. Well, you can trust a faithless husband to do one thing. Take care of himself. Whatever the cost.
But I think he got what he deserved in the end…
I like where you went with your Prosery, Björn, and the seedy atmosphere you created, especially the formica table and the ‘pallid grease film their bender had left’. You created Chuck’s character with so few words – a nasty piece of work.
I think he paid the price though…
Your first sentence is perfect for setting the tone. So many mixed emotions going on for Ami-Rose. It’s too bad she could only kill Chuck once. Justifiable homicide if there ever was — but she is not without blemish. Choosing to consort with a violent cheater was her choice. May she and her child — if the baby survived Chuck’s beating — live peaceful lives. Great story and so well-written.
I had another intention than she killing him… more a “gone girl” scenario where she faked her own death and Chuck going to prison for it….
Ah! Thanks for clearing it up.
whoa never leave a gun with some one you have jilted.#
loved this
I wonder if that gun was what got him sent to prison or if it got him killed.
Oh My! You got me good!!! A thriller. You set a mighty fine table.
🙂
144 words to set up a thriller, horrific story. Good writing…but ugh. What a tale is told.
It is a somber tale… but the end was a bit hard to grasp… my intention was a “gone girl” setup…
Great use of the prompt, Bjorn.
Thank you…
You are welcome.
You do so well with the dark flash fiction pieces! This one used the prompt brilliantly.
I do enjoy flash fiction, and 144 words are perfect for me.
Chilling story…seems no life mattered to him but his own. Suspenseful writing, Bjorn.
Indeed… but I hope he got his time to rethink his life from inside a prison.
Brilliant opening sentence. Beautifully constructed mood, I was there, saying so much without words. It doesn’t take much in these situations.
Thank you… I really wanted to capture the mood
Oh me, now she’ll have the baby at the prison. I quinced when I read the line, “It had been doomed . . . “
..
Maybe… or it was her ex ending up in prison for her murder than never happened.
Very interesting story.
A dark story…. I think.
Yes, betrayal often leads to revenge
Scandi-Noir indeed Björn…
Indeed as you say.
Oh my gosh! This was so Awful and GOOD!!
You start right at that pivotal moment and push us over the edge. Bravo, for not wasting a single word, Björn. I love the mysterious ending as well.
I really love the atmosphere of the opening lines. I did assume the ending that she set him up, since he had already left. Such a bleak tale!
Thank you… I love that you caught that. Revenge by proxy you might say.
You’re welcome. Yes, indeed.
Oooh Björn! This is fantastic! I SO love how you broke up the line and created such an atmospheric story in 144 words. So well done.
Thank you…. fortunately it’s an atmosphere I can only imagine….
Yes, indeed 🙂 And imagine it well, you have done.
Interesting take on the line Bjorn, bodiless murder caught my attention. The story eludes certainty, just when I think I’ve got it, it takes a turn.
Hopefully she has a new identity and is sipping piña coladas on a beach somewhere.🌊
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