A gaze ablaze with teenage
zeal cannot mask her angst;
setting veins ablaze… she has
that poise her dad has paid,
she knows her dues, but off
this haze she’s far from well
The club is closing now
while waiting for a cab, I’m
watching her succumb, too bored
to help her from the gutter and
I simply know, we won’t grow old.
I cave to save her from this self,
I am her knight appointed
but tomorrow seedy gossip judges
will doom us as we judge
ourselves in daylight more.
But now, now we go, further than
we ever done a while before they
can only guess the deeds we have
done, how much of self that’s sold.
Today we are writing poetry with Melissa remembering Curt Cobain and the band Nirvana. I have opted to create a Golden Shovel from these lines
Teenage angst has paid off well
Now I’m bored and old
Self-appointed judges judge
More than they have sold
From the song Serve the Servants from Nirvana’s last Studio album in Utero.
February 20, 2024
Björn Rudbergs writings 
” I am her knight appointed
but tomorrow seedy gossip judges
will doom us as we judge
ourselves in daylight more.”
These lines resonate with the image and the feelings here. The image from the first lines is amazing. Have not tried to create an image just using lines from my poems…will do that next. Thanks for the idea!
I had to use another tool… because it was too hard for Bing to do it.
Ah, you went for a golden shovel too, Björn. I love the rhyming title, the way it echoes through the poem, and the storyline.
amazingly it just wrote itself from those words…
So many thoughts, images, to love here, from the cynical to the idealized, but these reach out and grab me: “she has
that poise her dad has paid” and “judges
will doom us as we judge
ourselves in daylight more” — Loved it, Björn.
Imagining a world I was never part of (thankfully)…
You’ve imagined well. The line Dora mentioned, “she has that poise her dad has paid” along with “I’m
watching her succumb, too bored
to help her from the gutter and
I simply know, we won’t grow old” really highlight the plight of these young people. Sure, everyone has choices, and they’re just kids. That apathy and resulting hopelessness being stuck in negative cycles come through really clear.
There are always those kids… or Just Kids as that book by Patty Smith
We’ve all seen the kids stumbling about outside clubs and pubs. Not surprising that we’re destroying the planet when we let our children destroy themselves.
I think we have always been doing stupid things as kids (I did)
Yes, we did, but we didn’t top ourselves at 27. That’s the gulf of incomprehension. Why?
That second stanza really cuts to the quick. (K)
I think it may have happened for some
“I simply know, we won’t grow old.” This is chilling! Love the golden shovel, very well executed.
Björn, I like it.
Thank you… I am glad it worked for you
I’m totally impressed with folk who can do seemingly effortless golden shovels!
It is a bit like doing a puzzle.
I can hear Kurt reciting this Golden Shovel, Bjorn. Singing it. Amazing poetry.
That would have been great.
“now we go, further than we ever done a while before they can only guess the deeds we have one . . .” I have lived this life, resulted in early marriage that last 13 years, starting in the teens. Not proud of that but it is reality. Note: I don’t tell a lot, though second marriage has lasted 51 years now.
..
“I cave to save her from this self,
I am her knight appointed
but tomorrow seedy gossip judges
will doom us as we judge
ourselves in daylight more.” – love how you crafted this part especially, because for me it extends beyond the thematic and makes it relatable.
Good one Bjorn, He was never going to grow old.
A creative response Bjorn, woven beautifully as if it were a continuity of his work.