Today I decided to leave I woke up late.
It was overcast and as usual, you had already left for the city. I had nothing to clean, there were leftovers in the fridge (and in the freezer) for weeks to come. Books held no attraction and on the TV they only showed reruns.
After breakfast in silence, I go for a walk down to the ocean.
The ocean had melted into the sky. This is a day lacking horizon, a day lacking plans.. a life unlived.
I undress, carefully folding my clothes by our usual spot. The water is neither cold nor warm. This is nothingness.
I immerse myself in the tender gray. I swim undisturbed seeking my lost horizon.
When you find the pile of clothes that I left, you will not know that somewhere I have finally found myself a truer tomorrow.
Hello, today Lisa hosts Prosery at dVerse with lines from a poem by Cella Dropkin:
In the tender gray, I swim undisturbed
Lisa has a great story about Cella who was born in what was then the Russian Empire (actually in Belarus) and finally came to the US as a prominent Yiddish poet.
December 5, 2022
The cadences of this prose piece reminded me at once of Camus. Smooth incorporation of Dropkin’s line!
Wow… Camus is one of my favorite authors.
Bjorn, I love the symbolism of the clothes here. I also love the implication that he’s going to a life with lots of color in it ❤ Beautiful use of the line.
You worked the line in so well. What a sad piece–not to feel anything.
I liked “this is a day lacking horizon”–everything amorphous.
You can make a tragic event oddly blissful every time, Bjorn. Well done!
As usual a very strong sensory atmosphere. I could feel the nothingness. (K)
The imagery was so evocative in that you captured that void and that desperation for hope and life. 👏👏
A day without a horizon, no ending or beginning…I like the way you capture the feeling and the search within the gray of it all. Love how you broke up the line.
So much gray, such a sad story so well told. The detail of oversleeping on the day of leaving and it unfolds seamlessly from there.
The melting into grey works well with your character. Will he be missed? The clothes image suggests this person was a a stranger to all. Well-penned, Björn.
On the first read I thought he swam away to his end… the grey of death. On a second read, I thought maybe the truer tomorrow is a positive light. Intriguing and beautifully put together.
Very well done. A sad ending looking for a brighter tomorrow. Great use of the prompt.
He might have thought he had no plans, but in fact he had the most final plan of all.
You worked the line in so well Bjorn 🙂
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