At night I fear to face my dreams, the tingle of what I left undone, the haunting sense of things I lost. At an airport, being late realizing that I left my passport somewhere.
It happened twice, once in Tokyo when I packed my passport in my suitcase and had to leave the bus; unpack and show the police my papers before I was allowed to leave. Another time I left my passport at the customs office at SFO and only realized it when I got to my hotel room. Jetlagged I returned twice before I had my papers safe again.
At night, I’m always late rushing through the night, sometimes waking breathless. Heart pounding looking for my passport.
the wind-moved branches
dead man’s claw on window panes —
a pale moon watching
Saul Steinberg
Today it’s haibun Monday at dVerse, Frank hosts with the seasonal topic of fear.
October 25, 2021
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I think you caught the oblique connection between haiku and prose — just the fight way to do it, taking it further and not summarising…great stuff.
I think you caught the oblique connection between haiku and prose — just the right way to do it, taking it further and not summarising…great stuff.
“right” way
I just read yours… love the way you describe the silence, and how you prefer the warmth of the blood-curling wolf’s howl! … such cold silence.
Thanks very much Bjorn.
I’ve been there! When I was in high school, I took a school trip to Italy. After a particularly fun last night, I arrived on the bus for the airport—without my passport!
Your haibun took me right back there!
You captured the claustrophobia and panic so well, Bjorn. I can see why it would give you nightmares. Funny that we both thought of scratching on windowpanes!
Stress dreams creep up on me quite a lot. Not having everything I need happens in them a lot.
Ah yes, exploring our fears in dreamland, what a cold rush. In some ways our dreams are a direct link to our fears, a manifestation and surreal illustration of them. Your poem is bang on.
I appreciate the general initial mundanity of the fear, but the haiku did wonderful work bringing a sort of ethereal haunt to the rest of it. As always, well done.
This passport hunt like a search for hime; I like how that pairs with the fingers of the deadman scratching. The sense of being trapped anywhere or inside anything is very frightening.
misplacing a passport would be very scary you captured the emotional turmoil, fear and panic well!
You describe it so well, Bjorn.The fear of the lost passport: what traveler can’t relate? A nightmare like this can give you emotional jetlag. Exhausting.
pax,
dora
Fine work, Bjorn; I know that can’t-get-to-or-stay asleep paranoia very well. Haibunilicious.
This could make you a true Stranger in a Strange Land (nod to Robert Heinlein). I can imagine it causing a recurring nightmare.
Profound write. I empathise with the deepseated fear.
Happy Monday
Much💜love
Excellent write my friend. That would send me up the wall Bjorn! I traveled all the time when I was with Lucasfilm, and both my ADD and my OCD tendencies always worked against me when packing. It was a nightmare.
Dreams are by their nature sad and disturbing. I’ve had similar…lost, confused, but that damn passport! Good haiku.
That is truly the stuff of nightmares.. losing one’s passport while travelling abroad…
Great Haibun Bjorn! Very real fears indeed. Your stress is really working on you! I remember when I was teaching school, I would dream of being late… or my kids were in class and I wasn’t there.
Those are really terrible incidents you have highlighted about the papers and passport. Yet the poem so beautiful and effective. 💜
your poems puts your fears accross really well. i can feel the anxiety in your words
Thus the nightmares…
So sad that happened to you. Frightening. Thanks for sharing.
Misplacing passport in another country can be a harrowing experience and the stuff of nightmares! You captured it so well and the haiku is terrific.
That loss of control is terrifying
A great write, Bjorn … you managed to voice what so many struggle with (the where did I put it, gracious I’ve forgotten it, I’m losing it) feelings. Cheers.
What awful nightmares. I love the haiku – dreams of losing important things are horrible. When kids grew up and left home I had a series of dreams where they were still little and I lost them.
You captured my fear of losing important stuff to Bjorn. But the fear imagery is sharply captured in your haiku with this line:
dead man’s claw on window panes —
Have a good weekend.
That midnight panic – waking up with pounding heart – perfect description.