Breathless through the night

At night I fear to face my dreams, the tingle of what I left undone, the haunting sense of things I lost. At an airport, being late realizing that I left my passport somewhere.
It happened twice, once in Tokyo when I packed my passport in my suitcase and had to leave the bus; unpack and show the police my papers before I was allowed to leave. Another time I left my passport at the customs office at SFO and only realized it when I got to my hotel room. Jetlagged I returned twice before I had my papers safe again.
At night, I’m always late rushing through the night, sometimes waking breathless. Heart pounding looking for my passport.

the wind-moved branches
dead man’s claw on window panes —
a pale moon watching

Today it’s haibun Monday at dVerse, Frank hosts with the seasonal topic of fear.

October 25, 2021

28 responses to “Breathless through the night

  1. I think you caught the oblique connection between haiku and prose — just the fight way to do it, taking it further and not summarising…great stuff.

  2. I’ve been there! When I was in high school, I took a school trip to Italy. After a particularly fun last night, I arrived on the bus for the airport—without my passport!

    Your haibun took me right back there!

  3. You captured the claustrophobia and panic so well, Bjorn. I can see why it would give you nightmares. Funny that we both thought of scratching on windowpanes!

  4. Ah yes, exploring our fears in dreamland, what a cold rush. In some ways our dreams are a direct link to our fears, a manifestation and surreal illustration of them. Your poem is bang on.

  5. I appreciate the general initial mundanity of the fear, but the haiku did wonderful work bringing a sort of ethereal haunt to the rest of it. As always, well done.

  6. This passport hunt like a search for hime; I like how that pairs with the fingers of the deadman scratching. The sense of being trapped anywhere or inside anything is very frightening.

  7. You describe it so well, Bjorn.The fear of the lost passport: what traveler can’t relate? A nightmare like this can give you emotional jetlag. Exhausting.

  8. Excellent write my friend. That would send me up the wall Bjorn! I traveled all the time when I was with Lucasfilm, and both my ADD and my OCD tendencies always worked against me when packing. It was a nightmare.

  9. Great Haibun Bjorn! Very real fears indeed. Your stress is really working on you! I remember when I was teaching school, I would dream of being late… or my kids were in class and I wasn’t there.

  10. A great write, Bjorn … you managed to voice what so many struggle with (the where did I put it, gracious I’ve forgotten it, I’m losing it) feelings. Cheers.

  11. What awful nightmares. I love the haiku – dreams of losing important things are horrible. When kids grew up and left home I had a series of dreams where they were still little and I lost them.

  12. You captured my fear of losing important stuff to Bjorn. But the fear imagery is sharply captured in your haiku with this line:

    dead man’s claw on window panes —

    Have a good weekend.

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