We carried the onus of gloom, of a dying October, of silence draped over rot and decay. We were cold and had tried, we had lied. but there was nothing to keep us from drifting apart. What are the roots that clutch? What branches grow out of this stony rubbish.
Where had we gone?
It was 3PM when you finally spoke:
“Do you want milk with your coffee?”
I looked at you, surprised.
“No coffee, I’m going out for while”
You sighed as you knew that I knew.
It had started to rain again, but I didn’t return until past dusk..
You had left me a note but I already knew what it said..
I drank my coffee cold as October walked through the rooms you had left leaving muddy footsteps on the hardwood floors you always had wanted.
Was this ending another beginning?
Mish host prosery tonight at dVerse, and has selected a line from T.S. Eliot “The Wasteland”: “What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow out of this stony rubbish?”. This took me deep into a depressive state. I wonder if April really is the cruelest month…
October 11, 2021
This is a beautiful read. ❤
Oh, very bleak, Bjorn. And those floors! Great response to the prompt.
Oh my this is bleak. Those two people–so not together. I hope it is a beginning.
SO many layers sending me on a curiosity overload! Love the stark contrast between thoughts and dialogue, the way the conversation caught me off guard.
Bjorn you’ve captured the there’s-no-fixing-this atmosphere so well here. The way one partner offers the other coffee and the way the other mentions the muddy abandoned floor are such nice touches that bring the story to life.
Luv the introduction before the unanswers of the dialogue
Bleak and sad, but a very fitting wrapper for the line prompted.
Excellent flash fiction. Your sense of dialogue, inner and actual, keeps improving. I liked “I drank my coffee cold as October walked through the rooms..”
Oh, clever….but oh, so bleak….
p.s. Wonderful painting you chose, especially the clouds. I would love to see this one close up.
That cold as October coffee….those muddy footsteps. The onus of gloom indeed….the ending of a relationship.
The gloom hangs thick like the clouds in the art. 😥 So much emotion packed in, great write!
Prosery Perfection, Bjorn.
Wow! this is a powerful and sad story! I love your ending! …on the hardwood floor you always wanted!
So much said, with what is left unsaid and a deep melancholy envelopes the reader. So well done.
A perfect slice of the human condition, Björn.
Your ending line sheds a ray of hope!
the muddy floors always wanted. the looming of October and a relationship’s death are palpable in your images. but i love the lint of hope in your last line, Bjorn.