Breadcrumbs

I.

Skin on warm timber / and toes / lapping water softly,
under willow / while far far away / a summer shower
hastens over meadows — a loaf of bread / a jug of wine
… and you.

II

No, later you left / drunk from the wine / you gulped
before stumbling away / while left, I / cold in the drizzle
with thunder promising more — just breadcrumbs
… and me.

Photo by William Mortensen

So I tried my hands on writing palinode (the second part of my poem), the first part is my variation on Omar Khayyám’s famous Rubaiyat. Grace hosts MTB at dVerse.

May 6, 2021

20 responses to “Breadcrumbs

  1. Beautiful with style (slants) of words, contrasting of warmth of companionship (first part) versus breadcrumbs & solitude (second part). Definitely one of regrets and coldness in the end.

  2. This is absolutely exquisite! 💝 I love the contrast between “a summer shower hastens over meadows/cold in the drizzle with thunder promising more.” There is such fiery intensity in this one, Bjorn! 💝

  3. An excellent palinode, Björn, and you kept the shape and form! I love the way you countered ‘lapping water softly’ with ‘the wine you gulped’, the loaf of bread with ‘just breadcrumbs’, and ‘you’ for ’me’.

  4. A lively poetic, both humorous and sad. Your use of an ersatz classical form is clever. I tend to favor line breaks over lines, but your example soars.

  5. I got a chuckle on this one. The romantic vision vs. the sad reality. Good that we have a way to soften reality through fantasy from time to time.

  6. Excellent response. Although, perhaps it is more of a continuation that went precisely where you didn’t want it to. Very nice, I found it charming and provocative.

  7. Bjorn,
    Alas for the breadcrumbs, but perhaps their trail leads away from a coarse lover to one more true and courteous! I love the melding of images of the summer shower hastening over the meadow, so cool and refreshing as the wine.
    ∼🕊Dora

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