I remember, in daylight pretending, be straight and dependent.
Breadwinner and accountant, but as soon as the gaslights were lit, I was drawn to speakeasies where bourbon and flappers gave me a warmth you never gave me.
I remember the ice on the windows in the bedsit we shared and the scorn I received when coming home late.
I remember when Ada was born, the week we could share before she was claimed by the cold.
I remember your tears, and your anger but your smile I always forgot until you left me alone.
My darling I’m burning without you
The picture with the cars made me think of prohibition and had to write a story from the perspective of someone lost at that time. My story is of course not coming from Glasgow, but I hope that is OK.
At Friday Fictioneers Rochelle prompts us each week to write a story to the same picture. I have had a bit of problem writing to this weekly challenge lately. Working from home means working harder, and there are lots of things to do, and it will go on for quite some time. If you want to read more stories just click on the gangster Kermit below.
September 2, 2020
You created a real atmosphere here, Bjorn
Thank you… there was something in the image that made it possible.
You told a lot of story, about the relationship and the times, in just a few worlds. “I remember your tears, and your anger but your smile I always forgot until you left me alone.” Truly haunting 😦
I truly think that flashfiction should be like breadcrumbs… you can imagine the loaf from just a few words.
Painful reading Bjorn, in a good way. Well done.
I think we need a little pain in life.
A man whose priorities were in a tangle until it was too late to fix them aright. Oh so sad!
Sad tale Bjorn, but brilliantly written
The last line hits hard.
Deep. Fantastic storytelling. Vivid.
All the ice & cold didn’t stop him from burning or mourning.
Has she left or has he killed her?
Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
A chilling tale in more ways than one. Excellent.
So sad and poignant. I guess we realise the value of something / someone after it is gone.
Wonderfully tragic period piece. Of course it’s okay to not go to Glasgow. 😉 It’s all about what YOU see. Well done.
O gosh! I could visualise that chilly bedsit and that poor little frozen baby.
oftentimes, it’s only when someone is gone that we start to feel the pain of losing that person.
A relationship story framed in the time of change. The last line screams of a complex and confused human condition. Nicely done.
I can feel the pain and sorrow in this story. Well done😊
A tragic story of loss, neglect and (I assume he’s spending all their money at the speakeasies too so) poverty. Nice one!
What a wonderful write, Björn. You created so much in so few words.
Wow, so much there in so few words!
I felt the brooding of this character. Which I rather appreciated
Excellent. You’ve set the atmosphere perfectly, shown us your MC clearly, and made us sympathetic with the wife and poor lost baby. One can feel the cold.
In a few words, we get a snapshot of a man’s life–his relationship with his wife and the loss of their child. Excellent story-telling.
Vivid and deep. So much loss in this man’s life.
Fabulous vibe here. Loss in so many ways. Beautifully done