Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again, Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca
Sunset is sudden with a tired receding sun cocooning in the clouds. The treacherous moon is absent but her lights can expose me.
I’m waiting patiently, and I can hear the sound of her car climbing the winding driveway.
The automatic floodlights react as she passes the oak tree with its swing. then her tires slowing on the gravel porch. Her car door slamming.
Predictable
If it’s darkness we’re having, let it be extravagant.
I reach for the wire cutters.
Perfect timing, pitch-dark.
Embracing the hilt of my knife I tiptoe closer; licking my lips Her skittish breath is a serenade for treason.
“Peter?” she calls.
Remembering him begging for his life, I answer:
“Peter left before sunset… but I am here for you“
Then, a gunshot.
She came prepared.
Watching her face blooming sweeter than ever before another darkness grows even darker.
Predictable.
Today Victoria hosts dVerse Prosery, where we write fiction-prose incorporating a line from a great poem. Victoria’s choice is to take two lines from the poem “Taking Down the Tree.” by Jane Kenyon.
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November 11, 2019
Björn Rudbergs writings 
This is frightening Bjorn, but the tables were turned in the end.Well done!
Well… we should never know until the very end who has the upper hand
Haha! Indeed…
So good. Be prepared, they told us when I was a Girl Scout. I like your dark work a lot, Bjorn. Makes me wonder about past lives when I write that genre.
So good. Be prepared, they told us when I was a Girl Scout. I like your dark work a lot, Bjorn. Makes me wonder about past lives when I write that genre.
Incredible flash fiction, with teasing back story. Your twist ending was delightful, but I wanted her to go down, having decided to side with your protagonist, believing she deserved it.
Very dark. There’s a whole novel packed into that short story.
This is an interesting piece, Björn, particularly as it starts with the quote from Rebecca, one of my favourite Daphne du Maurier novels – but have you read her ghost stories? They are chilling. I like the references to darkness and light throughout the story: the sunset, the automatic floodlights; and the sudden pitch darkness. And what a chilling sentence: ‘Embracing the hilt of my knife I tiptoe closer; licking my lips’. I love the twist and the repeated ‘predictable’.
I have only read Rebecca… and that beginning is one of my favorite beginnings ever.
I used the opening paragraphs of Rebecca as a stimulus for creative writing when I was teaching at the high school. The students seemed to get it too.
A hair-raising journey to predictability! Nicely done, Bjorn.
It’s strange how our minds went in the same direction for our stories, but it’s a good strange 🙂
Dark stories…did she kill you? If she did, how are you writing? LOL. I am always amused at stories where the person is still writing after they are dead.
Extravagant darkness for sure!
You have the makings of a good novel. I really enjoyed this!
Exquisitely written!
Love the twist
Turn about is fair play (or so they say) (K)
ooh a sinister twist, a change from your usual style
Never underestimate the power of a woman.
Rebecca knew! But they always do 🙂 Love how you paint that matter of fact waiting with the abrupt ending reversing the plan.