I don’t think we really quarreled that midsummer night so many years ago. It was only a slight disagreement over some triviality.
No, I have not forgotten and I haven’t changed my mind, but we left the issue unresolved.
It doesn’t matter now, you decided to leave me to the bluedusk night. I still remember watching you running barefoot down to the lake, your white dress billowing around your ankles.
I stood by the porch, fuming with righteous anger when far away an interrupted cry echoed through swirls of mist.
Though many years have passed — still — in the moment right before I fall asleep I hear your anguished screams.
Sometimes I miss the softness of your skin and almost regret being a coward. I could have saved you from being eaten alive by zombie-piranhas.
But that would mean admitting you were right.
Today we start a new feature called prosery at dVerse. I’m hosting for a new prompt for prose and storytelling. The maximum number of words is 144 (one gross) and it has to include a line given coming from a poem.
In this first version you have to use the line “when far away an interrupted cry” somewhere in your text.
If you want to take the challenge a bit further try to hit the 144 word limit exactly.
June 10, 2019
Oh my!!!! What a twist at the end. I was not expecting that! Good one. 🙂
Bjorn: I love this new category and I suspect we will draw a lot of newcomers to dVerse with it. I’ve always loved flash fiction and this uniquely dVerse application is really great! Thanks for hosting our inaugural Prosery night!
Ha… the twist is one thing I love doing in flash… it could change romance to terror and terror to humor… 🙂
That’s a good twist to the story Bjorn. I enjoyed this new development though I must admit that prose and flash fiction is not my forte. But who know, I may learn a trick or two, to make the writing fun and with an unexpected ending.
It’s not that different from a Volta in a Sonnet, it can be a small change of viewpoint… but a twist is just one of many ways to end a story.
Nice ending. Got to avoid those zombie piranhas.
Zombie piranhas that lurk in the lakes
has to be fed with bodies or cakes,
and once they are full
you just have to pull
them from water and grill them like steak
That’s one hell of a twist at the end. The comment about the softness of her skin juxtaposed gruesomely with the idea of her being eaten. I love the imagery of a blue dusk night though. Wonderful painting.
It was fun to juxtaposed like that… there is some gross humor in this I hope… (and 144 words is exactly one gross)
Piranhas alone are scary enough, but zombie piranhas are just too much! I also liked the juxtaposition of soft skin and flesh eaters. My favourite image is ‘I still remember watching you running barefoot down to the lake, your white dress billowing around your ankles’..
I think the zombie piranhas sends you over the top to the absurd and comical I thought.
What a clever twist! I’m new to flash fiction, and 144 words, yikes! Thanks for prompting me to branch out and be more daring!
It’s fun to keep it really short.
I love this Bjorn! I was definitely not expecting zombie piranhas!
Those pesky fishes are everywhere.
I’m clapping my hands in delight. You’d let her be eaten alive rather than admit she was right. So funny. Love the 144 = gross as well. Nice debut of the prosery!
It’s fun to play around with the usual images and put in something unexpected.
Thank you for sharing this!!
Oh yeah, your forlorn love tale became a new episode for THE TWILIGHT ZONE; wicked, humorous and dark as coal; loved it.
Haha! Never admit you are wrong! That was a twist ending.
Ah! those pesky zombie-pirhanas! Nice twist there.
Love the turn at the end! You tell a tale of timeless conflict in condensed, effective prose!
ah the lengths a man will go to avoid admitting he was wrong … love the twist!
And sounds like a very interesting challenge … will get there as time allows
Surprising chill there to end.
The beautiful descriptive writing throughout… and you had fun writing that ending! I laughed.
Sounds like a wild night for sure! I liked the visual of her running to the lake with the white dress flowing around her ankles!
I was drawn into the argument, the story, the fleeing woman in billowing dress, but zombie pirhanas?! Really, Bjorn 😀
This is wonderful Björn. You get us giving a damn, then you jab us with a pointy stick of the absurd — love it!
what an awful fate! Great twist though.
Those piranhas got to work quickly!
The ego is a terrible, terrible thing!
ZOMBIE piranhas are the worst!
Hahaha, the zombie piranhas are stuck in a never ending cycle of consuming each other and making more zombie piranhas. Our own righteousness destroys our happiness again and again. Zombie piranhas may be the moat around one of the circles of hell.
Life is full of regrets (or almost regrets in this case) (K)
Oh this is priceless! Well written with a moral you might say. 🙂
you teased us there at first i thought you were so sweet…then you let her be devoured all for being right…oh well…well done…bkm
You were going along in such a serious vein. I almost had tears in my eyes. Then that zinger at the end. Perfect!
Dude… I’m terrified of zombies. I also have an irrational fear of piranha. You combined the two in a twist I never saw coming. Thanks for the nightmares!
I did’t see that coming, ominous swimming.
All of that beautiful writing, the anger, the love, and then you got me with zombie-piranhas. I love it, truly. As if a piranha wasn’t enough, they are now zombiefied.
I was actually laughing hard at the twist…😁😁😁
Love the story, love the challenge! I’m already in love and Prosery 💙
What an ending. Wow! I was caught up in the romance and then bang!!! I couldn’t help but laugh.
I was lulled by the romantic lover’s tiff, and the magical moonlight – then the wow – the twist in the tail. Woke me up !
What a darkly humorous twist~!