Rejected Suitor

Wax my moon and wane my mind
be sparse in words and dense in sighs
make cautious sense from careless cold;
tune in to minor keys for major change.

My honey, be like primrose,
salt and sugar, water, spice;
be timid rock and bold like sea,
and watch me triumph darkly
kneeling meekly in defeat for you.

Wax my moon and wane my mind
be gentle when you say goodbye.

Rejected Suitor by Norman Rockwell

Today Lilian wants us to play with opposites in meaning at dVerse. Write one poem that includes words that have opposite meanings. OR write two short poems about one event: each written from a different perspective or voice. OR take a well known nursery rhyme or parable and rewrite it in the opposite.

Also linked to Tuesday Platform at toads

June 26, 2018

33 responses to “Rejected Suitor

  1. Wonderful use of antithesis here, Bjorn. In the true sense of that literary device. I especially like the repetition of “wax my moon and wane my mind” leading as it does to the final line which adds a poignancy to the write.

  2. Your piece reads like music! I especially liked the phrase “wax my moon and wane my mind.” Wonderful writing!

  3. I should start by saying that the adolescent who often mind-jacks my sense of humor, nearly choked on coffee when I read, “Wax my moon…” I know, pitiful. I should be slightly ashamed of myself. But… I’ve never had much use for shame, so I shall just restart my reading.

    I really love the cadence, like a chant one can skip to… skip, sing, skip, sing… while hoping with all one’s soul that one’s heart is not crushed too hard.

  4. Love the refrain and cadence of: Wax my moon and wane my mind
    Also the contrasting lines specially:
    salt and sugar, water, spice;
    be timid rock and bold like sea,

  5. This is enchanting and to me it seems like a lover who is obsessed and want to be the best in every sense.

  6. Always partial to poems about the moon, I love the waxing and waning in your poem, Bjorn. I especially like the phrases, ‘be sparse in words and dense in sighs’ and ‘tune in to minor keys for major change’.

  7. It reads like a spell, an incantation, a summoning. The lines, “Wax my moon and wane my mind / be sparse in words and dense in sighs” remind me of “Double, double toil and trouble” from Macbeth, so you’re in good company. 😊

  8. Gorgeous!💜 I love “be like primrose, salt and sugar, water, spice; be timid rock and bold like sea.”😊

  9. Wax my moon and wane my mind.. That is a wonderful juxtaposition, Bjorn. What I especially like about your description is how you equate the beloved with simple, yet essential, things. It reminds me of Neruda and is very compelling from the masculine voice.

  10. I like your ending, Bjorn. Not the action, that is one of the most painful events a guy will endure, especially if was a long relationship. But I liked the way you wrote it happening,
    “Wax my moon and wane my mind
    be gentle when you say goodbye.”
    Both my episodes.might have been that way, one for sure. The other was blunt about a guy she was waiting for to come home from military duty. Just told the facts, and she left. No goodbye, I think she figured I would silently leave her life without messing things up. I did that.
    ..

  11. kaykuala

    be sparse in words and dense in sighs
    tune in to minor keys for major change

    How true, Bjorn! One can resolve matters without having to be wild and boisterous. Otherwise there will be pain and regrets

    Hank.

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