Dark, this burn of afterwards
a glacier growing, vacant void,
too cold is this: my cindered heart.
Once it flamed,
for bliss of worth, but ash
will never flare again.
Cold this burn of afterwards,
this cul-de-sac of cindered hearts.
Today it’s Quadrille at dVerse and Victoria hosts. The word is burn and it has to be included as one of 44 words in the poem.
It’s better to burn out
’cause rust never sleeps
The king is gone
but he’s not forgotten.
February 26, 2018
Intense, this one is. There is a darkness that leaves a chill and one wonders if that is burn-out or burned up. Good one.
God I love the way you write. This piece will leave any woman in ashes.
A great song. I thought somewhere in there Neil sang, “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” Which I always thought would be pretty similar. But in your poem, with the contrast of the once-burn, now ash and glacier, I can’t tell if it would be better or not, but you’d certainly experience a greater spectrum of what there is to feel, rather than just a slow fade.
I thought so too… but when I checked the lyrics… the fade away did not feature. That quote comes from Kurt Cobain’s suicide letter…
Oh that fits. Nirvana’s Unplugged comes to mind.
So amazing, wonderful poetry.
Burned up or burned out…cindered hearts…what an image. No they can never burn again. An amazing poem Bjorn. Dark that gives chills.
Lovely comparison between the burn of hot and cold.
I love the lines:
‘too cold is this: my cindered heart’
for bliss of worth, but ash
will never flare again’..
Thanks for the Neil Young song 🙂
Cold and heat both burn. I thought that too.
So much I really like here………”this cul-de-sac of cindered hearts.” No way out here, the dead-end cul-de-sac. And the idea of the glacier growing, the gap increasing. Love lost – painful indeed.
The cold burn of cindered hearts. I like the image of loss and void you painted here.
Oh how that burn brings and ending of ash…and an after-burn that can be endless. Fantastic stuff Bjorn.
Cindered hearts. what beautiful words.
It doesn’t seem possible for cindered hearts to flare again.
this is burning with despair! intensely touching.
Very bleak. All that cold ash. Very well done.
Was there any idea of referencing Cinderella in this work? It’s the first association I have with the word ‘cinder’. I just was curious.
Oh, and I found the verse very lyrical, if the poetic structure was one I’m not familiar with. I thought a quadrille was a dance.
Superb write Bjorn. I love ‘Cindered Hearts’.
I admire the contrast of the burning with the cold and that apt word: cindered heart.
Ah, so it is that the despair of the Northern heart brings a deeper understanding of the cold that burns. Excellent!
The sound of a burned out heart, “but ash will never flare again.” Very graphic imagery. I like the cul-de-sac of Cindered hearts as well
I like that this feeling is at once a glacier and a void, and your use of cul de sac is a great way to layer on that idea of a void. Very cool!
“Cold this burn of afterwards,/this cul-de-sac of cindered hearts.” Wow. What a blazing way to end this poem. Well done.
You really brought it together with the “…cul-de-sac of cindered hearts!”
An exceptional piece!
This is beautiful–meticulously crafted, a great emotional hit, and terrific imagery. And I’m so impressed at how effectively you use repetition in a poem that’s only 44 words long!
“Cindered heart” – too drained, too cold —- loved it.
“Dark, this burn of afterwards a glacier growing, vacant void”… Such a fantastic opening line, Bjorn!
I really love the intensity of this one, Björn. That first stanza–beautiful language, and that cold cindered heart! Wow.
“This burn of afterwards” – complex and lingering. Excellent.
“this burn of afterwards” — I like that a lot!
HEAVENS, this line is fantastic:
“Dark, this burn of afterwards”
I love ‘this cul-De-sac of Cindered hearts’. I can feel those icy ashes.
Beautiful but melancholy. I love the brief intensity of the second stanza and the resign of the last.
This is very clever: “cul-de-sac of cindered hearts.” Really nice.
Such intensity! Such mastery! (And thanks for the Neil Young.)