You are sunshine and the drizzle in November
frost in orchards promising a later harvest.
You are flowing rivers and the dancing fog at dawn,
valleys mountains, you are riddle and solution.
I love you as I drink a glass of water or watch the sunset
In the way I breathe between each heartbeat.
I love you as the scent of freshly fallen snow.
in the hour close to midnight, in each winter morning.
Then as we melt together, being braille on skin
with probing fingertips we pass from blind to seeing
or as cotton candy dreams — posing to be real.
We sense another presence, let the hours river,
before we laugh pretending that our finger’s hunger
can be quenched by this, our moment — our fire.
Male Nude with a Glass and Snake (Asclepius) by Albrecht Durer
Today I host dVerse MTB and the challenge is to write a free-verse sonnet inspired by the way it was written by Pablo Neruda.
—-
August 17, 2017
Then as we melt together, being braille on skin
with probing fingertips we pass from blind to seeing
This is fine, fine work, Bjorn.
Beautiful sonnet, following the voice of Neruda ~Love the passion, the fire, let the hours river ~
Very Neruda. Very you as well. Well done.
Absolutely Neruda-clone poem-very lovely, creative romantic word-smithing. I could not quite simulate the Neruda verbiage, but still tried to capture the style.
So many rich descriptions in this stunning Neruda-like sonnet. I have to pass on the prompt today because of our remodel mess but definitely want to try it.
That is a very interesting title, Björn! And I’ve not come across that nude by Dürer before. Your sonnet, as always, is stunning. I especially love the second stanza.
You’ve set a hard task this evening. And your poem is a hard act to follow.
Excellent work here. Though you went with the modern motif of the English sonnet, you capture the two part style.
Maybe you should join the challenge…. it would be a joy to have a sonnet from you…
very beautiful.
I love how you brought the eclipse into this. What a gorgeous poem. You perfectly captured the highs, lows, and flatlands of long-term love. The excitement but also the simple everydayness — like drinking water.
Exactly we have to have it every day
A dazzling display of poetic talent!
Very nice.
A free verse sonnet: intriguing. An evocative cascade of love’s ever altering plethora of moods. Wonderfully penned
What a lovely love poem. The metaphors are brilliant!
Pingback: Lumpy- Headed Sonnet | Hephaestus’ Waste & Cosmic Rubble·
This is such a brilliant write specially with that ‘being braille on skin’ stanza. A reading pleasure.
Stunning poem Bjorn. I’m not sure I went with Neruda style to the extent that you have here. Might be another challenge.
“Then as we melt together, being braille on skin
with probing fingertips we pass from blind to seeing” Outstanding
Let the hours river is perfect here. Very much in the Neruda mode you are!
lovely…beautiful lines…!!
“I love you as I drink a glass of water,” one lush line out of many. Fantastic!
Wow, you excel yourself!
This full of vivid imagery and I loved the turn.
you are riddle and solution.
absolutely loved that line.
I love the turn in this…”..posing to be real”. Beautiful, the journey into awareness.
let the hours river… such an intriguing, fresh turn of phrase…
adding my echo to the chorus, Bjorn ~
‘Then as we melt together, being braille on skin with probing fingertips we pass from blind to seeing or as cotton candy dreams — posing to be real’ .. love the passion in this, Bjorn 😀
What a beautiful sonnet Bjorn. How well you capture how all consuming true love is.
So well done! Your words consume me!
Anna :o]
Oh, this is marvelous… Such passion, beauty
Bjorn, you have outdone yourself. This is gorgeous.
I love the sense of completeness this love births, the wholeness of being… I love how you verb so many nouns and make the act of writing (and loving) a thing so natural that the eye can’t remember ever seeing anything different. This is wonderful.
Oh…. so truly lovely!