Just from the blackbird
such a song was heard
in spring.
Just when overheard
love flings undeterred
and sings.
So it hooked and stirred
breaking heart to sherd
with stings.
Victoria wants us to write a Lai at dVerse. I found it very challenging to be so brief.
—
June 8, 2017
Brevity can be fun, and a new form is the perfect vehicle for such levity.
You had me at blackbird, brother.
Challenging? I would never know it. You chose to write beauty, use so many 2-syllable end rhymes. Bravo. Makes me feel that I took the easy way out. Maybe I will try again. Lovely poem.
Love the illustration….love the romance in this. I found this form a bit difficult to write a poem “of substance.” You’ve done it well!
You chose a bird too! And that wonderful Lady of Shalott painting!
You’ve evoked the sound of the blackbird’s song in your lai, Bjorn.
I love all things blackbird, and this is simply beautiful.
Lovely, just like a blackbird’s song.
You “lai’d it on” for sure, and did it with romance! Bravo
This is certainly a song worth singing!
I love the image and the Lai is very melancholy. You did a smashing job and brevity is fine.
And yet you did “brief” so well, Björn! A worthy poem indeed!
Fabulous poem.
This reads aloud so beautifully. Really great work.
I agree, this reads beautifully. The title adds nicely to the theme of the poem.
Beauty in shambles. Then it was a blackbird.
Whether “with stings” or strings (?), it’s a beautiful lai.
This touches a spot inside, the melody lingers
Romance starts and ends in nine lines, if I interpreted it correctly.
this was done flawlessly.
Syllable bound yet it’s a full bittersweet romance. Wonderful.
Tennyson based his poem on the story of Elaine of Astolat. Unrequitted love can sting some sensitive ladies to death. Poor things. 🙂
I also love the coupling of the painting and your poem. I think it is well written and romantic.
Love that 3rd line in each verse Bjorn ~ Breaking hearts sting ~
Ooh. Beauty certainly lies in brevity. As is the case in this verse. It creates a vividly beautiful picture in the mind. 🙂
Beautiful write.
Tough go for the birds especially for a crooner like him
Wonderful poem. I really loved first threw lines!
The romance in your poetry is captured quite remarkably and beautifully. 🙂
I had a re-print of this very image in college, literally the first piece of ‘art’ I bought. Good lines here.