Another dream

I’m a beetle in a city’s underbelly; unknown to me..
Behind me echoes. Footsteps, heavy, kissed with limp.
Ahead an eerie shimmer blinds; is it hope or corpse-light?
My breath is labored; stitches burning, limbs are jelly;
in my mouth a taste of copper; my brow is sweat.
Between each heartbeat there’s a pause; singed with death.
On the walls are shadows, ahead lies gallows.
I’m on the run, escaping from a past; from buried matters.
When suddenly, I’m in our bedroom; trapped in bed-cloth.
Beside me: you. Your breath’s a gentle breeze, and
I breathe myself to different dreams.

This prompt made me think of nightmares and running through corridors so I decided to go for a more poetic theme than a real story. Last week I did not have time to answer the comment on my blog. But I did leave comments on all that commented on mine.

Friday Fictioneers is curated by Rochelle who select the picture, set the bar (high) and help us all to become better writers.

January 18, 2017

81 responses to “Another dream

  1. Bad dreams usually start with some threats to oneself. In a desire to escape one just flies away or force oneself to wake up. This seems to be the normal format of which Hank is familiar with!


  2. Fabulous, I just had to read and read this. So many great lines. Loved what you did with this prompt.

  3. Your poetry has gotten so good that I almost don’t want to taint it with a comment. I’m impressed and enthralled. I’ll leave it at that.

  4. That was fabulous, Björn! Loved the poetic approach and the breath’s gentle breeze helping him out of his nightmare.

  5. Another piece, wonderfully drawn. I love the way you ended your nightmare with a lovely reality – which (mercifully) often happens. (a metaphor in there somewhere, perhaps)

  6. Even though it’s poetry, it does tell a story, and with a lovely happy ending! Also, I agree with Louise that your use of imagery–and all of the senses–is wonderful here.

  7. You took me into your dark twisted world. I was relieved when he woke up. Loved the last line – “I breathe myself to different dreams.” If only it was so easy.

  8. Adding my voice to the chorus of delight you are hearing, Björn. I too am humbled and thrilled when I read your gorgeous word choices and rounded verse. “Kissed with limp” is uniquely perfect. Dark or light, you capture the feeling with skill and courage.

  9. Anyone would be relieved to wake from a dream like that. I’ve had dreams where I was trying to run and could only move like a snail. Great and detailed description, Bjorn. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne

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