Insomnia

Your scent is moon, a song
of lilies left at night;
you’re whispered pages
torn from notebooks,
memories;
you’re my rage, insomnia,
the emery of finger-
prints as left on skin;
you’re rash
of present and a past in sin;
but in my future: ash.

Night Creatures by Lee Krasner

Night Creatures by Lee Krasner

Today it’s Quadrille at dVerse. Which means that the challenge is to write a poem in exactly 44 words that has to include the word whisper. Join us at 3PM EST.

January 16, 2016

41 responses to “Insomnia

  1. This is my favorite:
    “you’re my rage, insomnia,
    the emery of finger-
    prints as left on skin”

    I like that “ash” could take this in so many directions … phoenix, everything being burned up, cremation, pyre, burning house, burning bed, burning pages in a fireplace.

    I think I see lovers torn apart by death, but you leave so much up to the imagination playground. Anything could be happening.

    • Oh, now I see what you’ve done. In my future, a shhh. Very clever.

      And now that I’ve had a certain conversation with someone, I see this as being from a father talking to his perhaps adult child.

  2. To me I see this poem of yours as an experiment of pure creative writing and a challenge of the mind. Brilliant work of creativeness my friend. 🙂

    The visuals pop out at me like a museum of notebooks and memories. 🙂

  3. Brilliant, Bjorn. Each read gave me new insight and I had to go back after seeing the comments Iris left. That’s what so exciting about poetry–the layers that reveal so many facets.

  4. I love this, Björn – and not a librarian in sight! You’ve really gone for the senses – moon scent and song of lilies, emery of fingerprints and that final ‘ash’.

  5. Still fantastic. I’ll never tire of reading this poem. I need to save the link.

    This time, the artwork and the hanging “prints” made me think of animals prints, either on actual animals or on clothing, bedding, or accessories. This is what I love about poetry that has at least some abstract element. You can read and read and read and keep finding more details and more stories embedded.

    Excellent work, brother.

  6. Intriguing, so many possibilities for interpretation. I also find you are getting more and more concise, stripping to the minimum of layers and words.

  7. Excellent description of insomnia. These lines describe my own insomnia, when I have it (which thankfully isn’t often):
    you’re whispered pages
    torn from notebooks,
    memories

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