Departure time

He wore sunglasses. Suit but no tie. The pub was empty and he approached the two men in the corner.

‘You can call me Ulsterman’

Gordon extended his hand to greet. Smiled.

‘Can I get you anything?’

Ulsterman shook his head, but sat down.

‘I have your departure-time.’

Gordon glanced at Buster who seemed more interested stirring his stale ale. A persistent fly bounced on the grimy window. The men stayed silent. Waited

Until Buster broke:

‘Five percent’

Ulsterman picked lint from his jacket. Sighed.
Postal Service should have paid him better.

‘August Seven, 6:50 pm, departing for London’.

Honoring C.E. and Scotland I have taken the liberty trying to recreated the scene from The Great Trainrobbery. The Ulsterman was the nickname used for the mole that leaked information to the robbers on when there would be a substantial amount of money being transported.

Friday Fictioeneers is a blogging community where we tell stories in 100 words under chief Rochelle who sees to that trains depart on schedule. Wednesday being the new Friday.
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January 11, 2017

27 responses to “Departure time”

Well written, but a rather unpleasant event altogether

Dear Björn,

Five percent isn’t much for his troubles. You created the dark pub well. I felt like I was there.

Shalom,

Rochelle

Great little scene from history, created a dark atmosphere and a real sense of the way the gang worked. Nice.

You really caught the atmosphere of a dingy little pub and a nasty transaction.

I liked the fly bouncing on the window! 🙂

it felt like straight from a movie scene. well done.

A great snapshot of a significant moment, all the more interesting because we know the outcome. I love the persistent fly on the grimy window.

A great scene, like watching a movie.

Very realistic, even down to the gaps in conversation. Well done.

The atmospherics of the pub scene was well created.

I’d’ve held out for 10%!
A nicely set scene, I can almost smell the “stale ale”. I’ve been in pubs like that 🙂

Björn Rudberg (brudberg) January 12, 2017 at 16:42 · · Reply →

Ha… 5% was almost 2.5 M pound in today’s value… so maybe it’s good enough.

An interesting tale. I feel the subject is refreshing, from my general reading.

Brilliant! Probably the greatest robbery of all time.

…when I grow up! My tale.

Thanks for the honour, Bjorn, although I admit I did not get it until your explanation.
I was never quite comfortable with the ‘Robin Hood’ description of the thugs involved, given that they brutally assaulted the train driver and other workers.

Lovely descriptions and thanks for a little bit of information about an event I’ve been interested in

‘Stirring his stale ale’ painted the scene clearly – nice one, Bjorn.

I enjoyed the atmosphere of this story.

Brilliantly done.

Great first line, it drew me in. The persistent fly was a fantastic detail to add.

Way cool inspiration, Bjorn! Of course, the movie, The Great Train Robbery, was the first, I think, film to actually tell a story and was remade some decades later. The atmosphere and the dialogue all made me think of an agent type story. Awesome!

I need to watch that movie now. Another on the list.

You created the atmosphere perfectly.

Such a good description, I could hear the buzz of the fly bouncing off the window!

I really enjoyed this one, Björn. You did a wonderful job of setting a scene that feels mysterious and thrilling, and makes me want to hear more. The fly bouncing off the window, the feel of the train announcements… great!