I almost found a treasure once —
With veins of gold —
The wind was soft, and sun was cosy —
We were not old —
I aged — and sold my broken shovel,
The gilt was lead —
And now, with memories metallic
I’m almost dead —
Portrait Of Adele Bloch-Bauer I by Gustav Klimt
Today we do poetic “covers” with Bryan Ens who is guest prompting at dVerse. You can cover in any way you want, style, word or doing a cento or a glosa. I tried my hand in covering Emily Dickinson’s “I held a Jewel in my fingers”. I’m not quite satisfied, but hey a cover is often inferior to the original.
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November 29
I think that you really captured the spirit of Dickinson’s work. Both contain hope/promise in the first stanza, and regret/pain in the second. Nicely covered!
You echoed Emily’s style with dashes and short alternating verses ~
I admire the contrast of the veins of gold to gilt was lead ~
Beautifully done, Björn, and a picture by one of my favourite artists!
It has echoes of Emily’s work and also stands alone. Well played Sir.
This is lovely. I can hear Emily Dickinson AND you!
That’s a good study of Emily Dickinson ‘s poem. I like how yours differs from hers. Yours is easier to follow and more revealing
I had to go read the original. I have to say you kept her style, but added your own voice to make it your own. So enjoyable Bjorn!
I read the original: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-held-a-jewel-in-my-fingers/
Yours is dark. Interesting Cover
Great write, Björn- I do feel you have echoes of Emily’s style, but yours is more accessible, flows nicely
Emily indeedy here, the gait and pauses — and “memories metallic” is a very ripe evolution of both the treasure-digger’s shovel and the glint of yearned for gold.
Yours is a beautiful poem in its own right, and honouring hers – which is also a beautiful poem.
I think you should be quite satisfied with it. Love it!
Brilliant …. loved the poem, it stands out and yet have the same kind of feeling…the painting shows a similar feeling..!
It works. You could put the stanzas all together and make a longer poem.