Coloring between the lines

· by · in flashfiction, Friday Fictioneers. ·

“Forgive me father, I have sinned”,

Behind the grate Father Tom saw her eyes, brimming with tears. He closed his eyes to focus on Maria’s voice.

“Tell me”,
“I cannot marry Karl, I’ve disobeyed my parents”
“But you’re just sixteen my dear, they would understand that you’re yet too young.”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t marry”.
“Are you in love with someone else?”
“Yes… “
“…and”
“Her name is Ella.”

Father Tom crossed himself. He felt soiled by her words. Dirty. Somewhere he heard an echo of hurried footsteps.

“You have to leave at once… If it only had been murder… ”

Today the picture took me to a metaphor of rebellion. Maybe not too original in the interpretation of the priest and the girl, but I think it reflects well how church has dealt and still deal with homosexuality. Also I think the rainbow colors was on my mind.

Friday Fictioneers is a blogging community, that write a 100 word story to the same picture every week. We are lead by the fantastic Rochelle, and every week there are so many different stories shared.


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April 13, 2016

88 responses to “Coloring between the lines”

  1. I found this quite interesting, esp. since I just had my confession today. I think you did a good job with the dialogue except that like most changes, we humans take a bit and that includes individual priests in churches whose actions are in contrast with the Pope’s way of going about the issue. E.g, “If our religion considers it a sin, hate the sin and love the sinner”- while some people may still not approve of this, each person has the right to whatever they believe and the most we can hope for is true acceptance of each individual as they are. Good job with this.

  2. Oh, Bjorn! What a great piece! “if only it had been murder…” then you could be forgiven. Poor girl, love cannot? Sad, and still true, however wrong.

  4. I cringed on the “If it had only been murder” line. You are right about how the church deals with homosexuality and I disagree with it. Yes, I will say I am a Jesus Follower and yes I don’t agree with that lifestyle, but we are never told to hate them. The church needs to come into the light and show compassion to all–even the ones we disagree with.

  6. Very well told Bjorn, that last line speaks volumes and sadly resonates across countless religions. The wheels of change grind slowly forward but at least they are moving in the right direction.

  8. You captured they hypocrisy well. The misalignment of priorities of human behavior is one of the many reasons I reject religion. Excellent piece, Bjorn.

  14. I like the back and forth dialogue because it makes a 100-word story seem to stretch more. And there’s always power in the condensation. Interesting take on the prompt, Bjorn.

  15. Your writing always finds a way to amaze me. It’s such a shame that who someone is at their core can be seen as ‘rebellion’ when really it’s just them being true to themselves.

  17. Very good. The priest’s parting words carry your point across strongly. I like how his tenderness and compassion disappear in a flash when he is confronted with something outside his comfort zone. A great call for compassion and tolerance.

  18. I agree we should love everyone. People should not be judged because they’re different. Having said that, I can’t see a priest saying, “…if only it had been murder.” Any priest who would say that is in need of counseling himself. He has deep problems and should be removed from the confessional ASAP. I realize you put that into the story to stress a point, but I personally don’t know of any priest who would go that far. At least I hope there isn’t. The writing was good, Bjorn. —- Suzanne

  21. I’ll see you on the murder and up the ante with child abuse. Brilliant story, Björn. I cringed at the last line. Let’s condemn love in all its forms. Abuse and violence can be forgiven, but not love.

  23. The illustration looks like the lattice work in confession cubicles? I just don’t know why it is so difficult to accept people for what they are. One case I know of, a 16-year old lesbian telling her mother … ” if only you told me you were pregnant!” – a bit of a laugh considering your story.

  24. Wow. That last line was just perfect to end the piece. It’s so true. The Church still hasn’t thought about how it wants to handle homosexuality, and that’s dangerous for so many people. Well done!

  30. I thought a third person had come in to announce a killing worse than muder, and assumed the girl had killed her parents. After reading all the above comments I realise I was wrong! 😦

  32. I shall refrain from repeating what everyone has said above except to say, Bravo. Once again, Björn, you do an amasing job with 100 words… Hypocrisy of the church at its best…

  33. Tragic final lines — tragic view the church maintains. And the innocence of youth feeling the necessity for penance behind the grate.
    Just getting back to Friday Fictioneers 🙂 Starting with reading you 🙂

  36. To equate love with murder…that’s pretty brutal and unbending, as the church can be in matters of homosexuality. Maybe some day, they will see the light. Nice one, Bjorn.

  37. The last line does it, wow, right between the eyes. Unfortunately a sad reflection on some religious teachings. Well done.

  38. Maria and Ella have much to teach Tom, whether [he or she] is open enough to listen, only time will tell.

  39. Oh, I love this story! I wonder why Father Tom felt dirty. Did he feel somewhere within, an unspoken yearning that had been stamped out?
    Beautifully written, with a perfect ending, Björn!

  40. I know this is a touchy subject, but as a member of the LGBT Community, I can say that homosexuality is not a lifestyle choice. It’s simply a life. Aside from that, I enjoyed the satirical ending. 🙂

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