From sulking waves —
in aftermath of words,
I’m left
marooned.
Once before we
weaved the seas.
We whispered tender words.
Waiting –
lulled complacent
dulled
we never saw
we weren’t prepared
for rain
for storm of syllables.
and shipwrecked
afterwards apart
we’re left
marooned.
Marooned by Howard Pyle
Linked to dVerse where we do quadrille… 44 words including the word lull… come join us.
—
February 8, 2016
Words cannot be retracted. A sorry state when one loses sight of the important things and lashes out. Being marooned is a sad end!
It’s sometimes too late I think…
Really clever wordplay throughout, like after/words and afterwards. Also the moron/marooned play. There’s some red coloring in there too maybe. The play on “waves.”
I love never-saw as a verb, meaning something like, we saw never(land).
This is powerful. The line that spoke to me was “dulled / we never saw.” It is a sad thing when we become so complacent that we don’t see those around us and cease to care. Peace, Linda
Ah.. It’s so fun what we can do with words
It’s amazing the story we can tell in a mere 44 words. Yours is choke full of wisdom. I love this prompt and the discipline of doing it in so few words.
oh, so sad. but so enjoyable to read – it begs to be read aloud.
“we’re left marooned” That does happen so often. Words are so powerful. I enjoyed this very much.
I love the sulking waves & this part:
we weren’t prepared
for rain
for storm of syllables.
Thanks for the challenge Bjorn ~
‘lulled complacent dulled’ a great expression Bjorn!
Hank
A terrific parable, clever & too true; sounds like this was their second try at a relationship; never a good idea–& after the split there is the dull lull of being unmoored; good one, brother.
A nice creation. Yes, in some contexts ‘lulled’ can too easily slip into ‘dulled’.
ah the power of words……relationships sail or die on them….excellent take on the word “lull.” Really liked the prompt, Bjorn!
Brilliant. Clever play on words. I like how the first stanza ties up with the last – but plural. Good one, Bjorn.
There sure is the sense of being shipwrecked and marooned when harsh “syllables” are thrown about. Excellent, Bjorn.
Very good imagery with the waves. I can imagine the couple, like the waves crashing and clashing, then ebbing, then crashing again, until the final breaking apart on the rocks.
when there’s storm of syllables there will be that aftermath of being marooned…sigh…what brilliant imagery! so powerful as always…
There’s some lovely internal rhyming in this one.
I like the way you used this week’s word. Very great depth in your des.criptions
You’ve created a great atmosphere with your 44 words.
The imagery of storm and relationship works well here ..love the ‘weaved the seas’ line
I am particularly enamored of this:
“Once before we
weaved the seas.”
And that “storm of syllables.”
Marooned….another wondrous word I never think of using.
“Storm of syllables”….makes me think of chopped up words circling in the wind.
Excellent prompt and example of quadrille…thanks, Bjorn! We become complacent (lulled to dull) and don’t see the storm coming…wild syllables can be fatal to relationships.
Waiting –
lulled complacent
dulled
we never saw
Great line! A life truism, I think, that echos subtly – but echos – in the hypnotic rhyme.