When carefully collected, pain
and tears are rain.
cumulonimbus in your eyes
as heroes die.
When eternity is gone
in sooty dawn
we sleeplessly despair, despond.
The stars look different today
there is a coldness in the air
and tears are rain as heroes die in sooty dawn.
Requiem by Konstantin Yuon
Today at dVerse De is handling MTB at dVerse with a form that was new for me. The Ovillejo. I tried to do it in meter, but there is no real requirement for that. Hope to see you at the bar when it opens at 3 PM EST.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TZsW99Vw_U
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January 14, 2016
Björn Rudbergs writings 
You did such a good job with that form that I haven’t quite figured out yet…great choice of title for this deep poem.
That line, “When eternity is gone in sooty dawn we sleeplessly despair, despond. ” Wow.
Intetesting. I Like the flow of this verse. Should try the form myself.
Simply brilliant.
I like the way you constructed this poem, Bjorn. Not easy not only to do the form but to add meter as well. And the comparison of tears to rain is very apt.
Ha… I cannot write without meter…. 🙂
You worked wonders on the lines that I didn’t see it as a form first ~ The opening lines are amazing and sets the somber tone of your poem ~
It seems a week for requiems, first Bowie and now Alan Rickman. Your words have struck a chord with me, and I can’t help tearing up.
This was sad and lovely at the same time, Bjorn. Well done. — Suzanne
This is lovely. Looking forward to trying my hand at this form…I hope that I can do half as well at tying up that last line as you did in this.
Powerful, passionate message, lovely lament wrapped in Ovillejo; another winner, brother. I. too, liked the /eternity is gone/soot=dawn lines.
This is WONDERFUL! Goodness. How quickly you mastered a new form. I’m green. 😉 Great work.
I especially love “the stars look different today.”
Which is a line almost taken from Space Oddity by David Bowie…
I love your use of it, here. 😉
This is absolutely flawless!! 😀
Way cool man, A great salute
I like that your “shorter” lines were not super short, which seems appropriate for a poem about the loss of heroes. Peace, Linda
Difficult form but you managed it well. Great first line – somber message.
Bjorn, the first two opening lines were just beautiful, pain and tears are rain and the heavens cry…filled with sorrow…
so poignant, so tender, so solemn
Beautiful…the last line is so packed!
With the slightly longer lines and sombre tone, you show us that the Ovillejo works for serious topics as well. Particularly appreciate the tribute to my musical hero.
Well, this seems effortless reading it! Wow! I especially love the last three lines and their flow.
You did so very well with a very difficult form. I would not expect less! 🙂
the last line is so very spontaneous…the poem is a great example of this difficult form….
Excellent, Bjorn. A serious lamenting that you accomplished with finesse…bravo!
Emotional words, Bjorn, successfully written to form.
This is an interesting form which, infused with your stunning words, has rendered a truly moving piece of poetry.