On skates

Used with permission copyright kanzensakura all rights reserved

Used with permission copyright kanzensakura all rights reserved

On skates, when carried by the wind across the solid glass of ice you feel like flying. Below you see the pale shadows of rocks against the solid black of water. Your skates have wings and cut striations in the solid surface. As ice gets thinner it will warn you with its song. A mournful tone will warn you that it’s close to breaking and you seek the shore again.
At other times the ice is thick with snow and underneath are hidden obstacles. You have the wind in your face, and with burning muscles you are almost stumbling. But afterwards the coffee tastes divine, especially when shared.

hundred words for snow —
yet the frosted bloom defeat
with purple presence

Today it’s Haibun Monday at dVerse. Toni has given us the picture to use, and wants us to write a compact haibun trying to work from Japanese rules and using 200 words or less. Come and join us at 3 PM CET,

44 responses to “On skates

  1. I love your new blog design, by the way. It’s so friendly and warm. I especially like the fonts and the pale blue background pressed against the background’s background of snow-star-dandelion-fluffs that are somehow made of metal. Great lines throughout as well.

  2. I don’t skate but with this you bring the beauty of it to me so I understand more why you love it. It’s very sensory, the feel and smell of it

    Did you mean 200 words? The haiku alone would be about 70

  3. I like skating outdoors but not experienced enough to be warned by sound of ice (always suspicious of cracks)…yes, coffee after skating tastes divine 🙂

  4. I like the direction you took this! I can almost imagine you skating to shore for that cup of coffee and seeing the bit of pink as a bit of a surprise. The haibun shouts freedom and flying and the haiku at the end, quietly speaking of persistence and hope. I don’t know if the Japanese have 100 words for snow but I do know they have 50 words for rain. Thank you for participating in the prompt. This one is most excellent.

  5. I was completely carried away by that. I have never had such an experience but you convey it so vividly I almost feel I have.

  6. We used to have an ice skating rink in Johannesburg where I used to live but it hasn’t been in use for years and years. We travelled there from the town I grew up in and it was the one and only time I ever tried to skate. I remember getting very wet from falling down so often with no dry clothes to change into! It was summer and, once outside, I dried fairly quickly. I don’t think we went for coffee after, probably a cold drink! I posted mine so long and will link up when it gets posted, for me only tomorrow. Loved your haibun.

  7. Such a creative description of ice thick enough to skate on. It must be a feeling of such freedom to have the wind blow you on skates across the ice. I can only imagine. Lovely, Bjorn. I really like the new header on your blog. 🙂 — Suzanne

  8. Your haibun brings back some memories of childhood skating times. Never on a lake or river or pond though. I used to walk to an artificially flooded rink (in summer it was a baseball diamond), sit in a snowbank, put on my skates and enjoy gliding on the ice. No one talked about wind chills back then! I still do remember the wind in my face & the burning muscles especially during the walk home. And, oh the hot chocolate that waited!

  9. I think you’re talking to me (or any psychologically impaired person reading this poem). In describing the roller girl AND the ice, you’re giving us clues about who she (I) is (am). Cold. Thick/thin in different places and at different times. Going back and forth between being dark and light, flying versus plunging into the black water. Her skates have wings (for her and for you) and her skates cut (her and you).

    • So she both heals and harms, lifts up and destroys. … I love that “warn” is so close to “warm.” Her song almost warms you, but then her hand/voice flies up to push you away instead. I love that her song is tied to her thinness. … Also, she is close to breaking — and the closer she comes, the more she sees herself as an “it.” She’s a master at detaching.

  10. I don’t skate but I love the experience of wind on your face, flying and taste of hot liquid when shared ~ The haiku is exquisite, no words are enough for that frosted bloom, a miracle to behold ~

  11. This was as wonderful to read the second time as it was the first. Takes me back to childhood when I had the skating fever after reading Hans Brinker…the haiku is perfection.

  12. Loved this. We are a family of skaters and skating. I spent Saturday judging a show skating competition. I personally have never skated on a frozen pond or lake..an outdoor rink a time or two, but I can sense your words which capture the sensations of flying, smelling, feeling, and being one with what you are and the line you make.

  13. I, too, love the new “look” of the site. God made mountains for hikers. Blossoms are inexorable, like those that crack through solid concrete. I never had strong enough ankles or balance to master ice skating; did semi-well on roller skates, pre-roller blades. This is one of your best haikus; the image set the mood, & you just sped off into your own winter wonders; but the haiku is stellar, & it reconnects to the prompt.

  14. I was mesmerized by that video. The skaters were in perfect time with that ethereal music and I was amazed at the distances that can be skated in that area. Wow! I didn’t grow up with skating but I can certainly appreciate why so many people enjoy it. I do like the change over here too…looks very clear and easy to read. I loved the angle you took with the prompt. And just one blossom in a sea of black and white can be stunning…and it was.

  15. Wow – what a landscape to skate in. As one who has only every skated on enclosed, limited ice-rinks, it seems like paradise (although potentially dangerous). Not sure I could bear to hear ‘that mournful tone’. But the delight of a hot drink after the exercise in the cold – oh, most definitely! Love the images you create.

  16. The more words defining something, the more relevant. Living in Norway, I have learned to appreciate different kinds of snow. Back to your haibun, I especially liked the poem at the end. Very nice. Just one minor thing: I think you have a typo in the sixth line.

  17. I used to skate a lot when young. After our move to Boston, I bought skates again, as an almost senior citizen, and joined those skating round and round the Frog Pond, set in Boston’s beautiful Commons. It was exhilarating….until I got too brave and tried one of the twirls I did as a teen, fell backwards and broke my wrist. Alas, the skates have been donated to Good Will — but I still enjoy sitting in the cold of winter and watching the skaters glide round. You’ve captured the spirit of it well….especially the nicety of a shared coffee or hot chocolate after! Enjoyed this very much!

  18. A lifestyle foreign to me (in all senses) yet, though I hate the cold, you make it sound wonderful – especially that coffee!

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