33 responses to “No sails at the horizon”

1. This is wonderful. I so like the same line used for beginning and end. It ties it all together and repeats the poignancy of the lines. This is just perfection.

   • Ah.. I think I will use the circular poem again.. maybe already tomorrow..:-)

     • 🙂 I like that thought!

2. Marvelous and forlorn! I associated what you were writing with something called “Widow Walks” in the Northeast of the U.S.!

   • I think the image of a sailor’s wife waiting was on my mind… very much so.

3. Great job with the form, Bjorn. This is kind of in the spirit of waiting that speaks to me of Advent. Perfect.

   • I think I have yet the advent on my mind … yes indeed that would work.

4. On the one hand, I’m picturing someone waiting for his/her spouse to either die or come out of a coma. On the other hand, I’m also wondering why there is only one footprint. For that to happen, someone would have had to begin walking out of the sea, only taking one step onto the sand, but then backing out into the water again. Maybe a sea woman. So I think the speaker is a man, staring at her one fading footprint after she’s gone, wishing she’d come back.

   “sails” is an anagram for “I lass,” which could also turn itself into “eye lass.” So close to “eye glass,” but not close enough. The g is missing. And I always see “g” as representing sex + funk … I can’t explain why. 🙂

   “sea-gulls overhead” is very close to “seek-alls overheard”

   I LOVE what you did with the last line: [The word/answer] “No” sails at the horizon. Her eyes on. “No” sails at thee, her eyes on … So her answer is no, and you can’t see her anymore. But maybe you can feel her watching you.

   “with every wave its fainter” … Ooh, or what if “wave” means waving “hello”? Sometimes the more someone talks to you, the less you see them. Does that make sense? I think talking is a way to cover up rather than reveal.

   I watched a movie called Words and Pictures last night, and this “conversation” makes me think of that. The art teacher in the movie says that words are all lies, which I tend to agree with, but that art (as in, painting) is always truth.

   P.S. I love tiny poems, and tanka is my favorite form.

   • Ah – you always find those little gems.. The one footprint was indeed quite intended, I changed it back and forth but ended up with a single one. Indeed I thought it was a she who’s waiting… But the separation is there for sure.. Just like waiting,

5. I was immediately walking barefoot on the sand, alone and contemplative. A lovely tanka.

   • Thank you, and I will of course correct.

6. This is a beautiful gem, Bjorn.

   • Thank you.. tanka can be wonderful..

7. I admire the third pivot line of sea gulls overhead ~ And the idea of waiting hints at the season ~ A beautiful tanka Bjorn ~

   • I have always admired your way of finding those pivot lines… or maybe its a volta.

8. The loneliness and sadness are portrayed well…. love the line about the mocking sea gulls

   • I think they feel that way some days… at other they seem sad and lonely.. and some days they are just cheerful. (maybe it’s just myself I hear).

9. Nice etch of farewell here.

   • A lonely shore with only you and birds can leave you quite forlorn…

10. Beautiful.

11. Cute tanka… somehow I find it refreshing, just the horizon with no obstruction.

12. I’m smiling again, Bjorn. 🙂 So nicely written, clever and cute.
    You wait there for me
    I’ll be sailing by soon now
    Right after Christmas
    And I could pick you up then
    Or bring you some food, dry clothes
    ..

    • Ha… yes that would be something

13. Such great atmosphere you’ve created with so few words. I love that image of the footprint being slowly erased.

14. One gets the empty feelings of a letdown when the waiting is unbearably long!

    Hank

15. Great poem, a long and lonely wait.

16. An excellent write, my friend. I loved it.

17. Oh, thought I had commented already. I meant to – to say it’s lovely. The tanka is one of my favourite forms.

18. Such a beautiful piece…it evokes a bit of lonely, anticipation, hope. Thank you for thinking of me when you created the prompt. I have certainly done a bit of waiting.

19. A footprint in the sand, fading – stresses the loneliness of the situation.

20. Reminds me of those in the past waiting for their fishing folk to return and no sail on the horizon. Lovely words and emotional use of the form

21. The first two lines…. such a sad picture they paint. Well done!

22. An excellent tanka – and I read a lot of tanka!

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