106 responses to “We are all defeated”

1. Powerful stuff, Bjorn, as ever.
   Great tale of loss and lingering memories.

   • Thank you.. yes with such beauty there has to be some darkness.

2. Dear Björn,

   The peace in the canoe and the horror in the Humvee juxtaposed against each other makes for an effective story. Well done.

   Shalom,

   Rochelle

   • I always end up with sadder tales the more beautiful the picture is.

3. Poor man dreams vs reality. The voice cutting in to sell the thing that allows his dreams to live. Yes they are all defeated.

   • Yes, but maybe the dreams were also stopping him to look forward.. sometimes the real change hurts.

4. Björn, my husband longs for his little childhood sailboat. Any sailboat, actually, would do him happily. So, yes, I know that feeling.

   • I could have a canoe but I do not have the time to use it… (actually I still have the canoe…)

5. Nice emotive piece. What would life be without a bit of sadness and memories? I love the purring from the hull.

   • Thank you.. I have always thought there is something feline with canoes.

6. That was haunting but beautifully written.
   That canoe was a living thing and I could feel the wood under my own hand because of your descriptions.

   • I think it looks alive and organic.

     • It does. The color of it is warm, rich, alive.

7. Beautiful .. the pain is obvious with the broken voice and body. Loved it.

   • Alas.. I think coming home and finding the new paths will be difficult.

8. A gripping picture of the costs of war.

   • The cost is costly way beyond the personal…

     • Yes it is.

9. I kept picturing Humvees being blown up and then the aftermath. Wonderful, yet sad, beautiful story.

   • Thank you.. there is so much warmth in the image, so I wanted to set it against the opposite.

     • You certainly did well!

10. Mahogany works, Bjorn, definitely no need to apologise for that. Like others, I enjoyed the juxtaposition and was moved by your story.

    • Thank for that.. 😉 it would have not have worked with rust..

11. This is exquisite! I love these:
    “Mahogany skin: sunwarm, after all these years still calling.”
    “I nod as you slowly pull me back into the shade of our house.
    We are all defeated.”

    • Thank you.. The limit of 100 words is actually quite interesting.

12. Bjorn, that story squeezes my heart. I would hope that, perhaps, there is still a canoe in the future. I think if it could be managed, it would be a saving therapy. Wonderful story.

    janet

    • I hope there is another canoe too.. or at least a sail-boat…

13. Vivid memory.

    • Thank you.. 🙂

14. Wow, dramatic stuff. Didn’t know what a Humvee was but a quick Google and the story fell into place. Emotional!

    • Humvee felt iconic to me, and a contrast to the canoe.

15. I would never associate a canoe with loss. But you never know what’ll trigger it for someone. Nice one, B.

    • Thank you.. somehow there is probably a small loss inside myself for all those days I could have been out in a canoe.

16. Ugh. How sad man. The canoe really gives us a sense of what was lost. We used to canoe the rivers every summer as teens. It Def plays up the loss of freedom.

    • Canoes and kayaks are ultimate freedom.. there is no burden of owning but all the freedom of a boat.

17. Moving story!

    DJ

    • Thank you 🙂

18. You can tell a whole life story in hundred words, can’t you? From the sensuality of mahogany to the horror of war to the brokenness of despair, you arced them all in very skilfully.

    • Thank you.. Sometimes you can tell a complete story in just a single scene. When it’s just really one event.

19. Yes, very sad. K.

    • It is.. it really is

20. You said so much in this story. A happy event turned tragic. Nicely done.

    • Happy or just lost opportunities…

21. Very effective juxtaposing of the agony of his memories and the peace represented by the canoe. The ending brings the two together in a very poignant way.

    • Thank you.. yes there are those point in life when the past just coincides into that very narrow path forward.

22. Wrenching! I really feel the acche in the narrator’s voice.

    • Thank you.. Juxtaposition is a powerful tool

23. Very powerful. I repeat what I said before, you’re going from strength to strength. Well done.

    • Thank you, by reading a lot and writing a lot I think it’s possible to get better.

24. I’ll repeat… powerful words. Heartbreaking. You sent my emotions all over the map!

    • Thank you.. I try to pack as much as I can into those 100 words.

      • I wish I could do it as well as you!

25. Reading your work after a gap – you didn’t disappoint with your beautiful darkness. One needs to accept defeat before moving on to the next battle. Exquisite.

    • Thank you.. I just came back from a gap myself.. maybe with some new inspiration.

26. Your stories are sad, but they are beautiful, always. What a tragedy in such few words.

    • I think I can write happy stories too, but that require more than 100 words.

      • A lovely response!

27. Sorry, meant to add an exclamation mark after “words”!

28. great piece as always.

    • Thank you..

29. Dear Bjorn, Your talent so surpasses mine for the beauty of the written word! You are truly a Writer Extraordinaire! Love it! Nan

    • Thank you, though I think it’s a lot of training…

30. Beautiful

    • Thank you 🙂

31. That’s too powerful for me. Prickling behind my eyes.

    • Ouch.. but I think I would say mission accomplished.

32. I have a neighbor who is in a wheelchair as the result of a terrible accident. He played football, loved to hunt and fish. He still fights to do as many outdoor activities as he can, but sometimes you can see the pain in his eyes from the loss of mobility and the freedom it allows. Very touching piece, Bjorn.

    • I think many will find a way forward, but there is a loss, or maybe phantom pains in more ways than one.

33. I think this is masterful. There is so much in there. We had a canoe, too, and miss it a lot. I’ve not given up home that some day we can find the time to go out on lakes and rivers again and feel free… Freedom lost by fighting for freedom for others, these are deep themes. I hope he’ll find someone who paddles for him–and good prosthetics.

    • I’ve not given up hope… sheesh. Sorry.

      • I have kayaks, and really like that more. But a canoe is in many ways a more beautiful boat.

34. I’ve rowed a boat, but never paddled a canoe. I’ve been in one when a neighbor paddled it. It takes skill to even get in and out. Poor man. I think I’d find a way he could just still ride in one. Very realistic and powerfully written, Bjorn. —– Suzanne

    • Oh yes.. paddling takes more balance, but it goes easier actually.. (even easier with a kayak).. I hope he finds a way to meet the water..

35. Powerful story, nicely told.

    • Thank you sir,

36. Very effective contrast Bjorn, very powerful tale

    • Thank you.. contrasts are effective I have found (especially in short pieces)

37. It would be nice to just paddle away! I really like, “when I let my hand trace its smooth hull. A vibration tempting me to leave.” That’s really effective and you get inside this story. Well done, Bjorn.

    • I really wanted to reach in and touch that mahogany (before I realized it was rust of course)

38. A beautiful piece of dramatic prose 🙂

    • Thank you.. I find that drama can be good when the prose is short.. it would never work in a longer piece.

39. At least it is still theoretically possible for you. I think it’s the loss of possibilities that make the loss of limbs so bad. Someday they will rub an ointment on our end bits and we will grow things back the way a lizard will grow back a tail.

    • If just we could invent the skelegrow potion… but alas I think what’s lost is lost.

40. Excellently done! I can feel the memories, passion, and the sadness.

    • Thank you Perry.. somehow it’s like cooking.. you add a little bit of this a little bit of that.

41. Poignant … the memories come flashing by, with a tinge of sadness sometimes.

    • Thank you ..

42. Haunting and sad. Well done, Bjorn!

    • Thank you…:-)

43. I read the last line with a sigh….

    • I think the story is a big sigh.. I can actually hear the sigh from the people in the story.

44. quite interesting

    • 🙂

45. That’s so beautifully written. You have such a poetic way with words. I think the canoe would sink under the weight of your protagonist’s melancholy, if he were to be lifted into it.

    • You are probably right.. and writing poetry is a great way to capture emotions in words.

46. Beautiful heartbreaking story, Bjorn. As for your lost canoe – get another one and paddle away. Perhaps not for ever, but for a while.

    • I have a kayak (or two) so there is really no big deal (and all my limbs are working)

47. Your melancholy always produces such beauty, Björn. I can feel the longing and loss here… nice job.

    • I hit post instead of reply… I wanted to add: the call of the water is so powerful. I can really relate to that piece.

      • Water and a canoe.. that’s a very strong pull for me.

      • Me too, friend!

48. Brutal, brilliant. Your poetry experience always shows through in your tales – fantastic imagery, and great use of discordance and disconnection. Warmth of memories; horror of accident; grief of loss… spectacular.

    • Thank you.. I think the shorter the story, the brighter colors you need.

49. Wow … what a powerful story brilliantly written, but so very very sad.

    • Thank you.. yes there is so much sadness.. and it works well in few words.

      • You’re welcome.

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