Oh, startled shudder, worms and worries
with ash and soil and raging hair
I put my trust in winter’s flurries
In raging moon my eyesight blurry
for milky shadows, winded stare
startled shudders, worms and worries
when you’re dying what’s the hurry
to grasp, inhaling acid air
and put your trust in winter’s flurries.
Night was dark and I could bury
the letters marked with tattooed tears
With startled shudder, worms and worries
hear the rodent’s claws that scurry
across my chest and for your ears
let’s put the trust in winter’s flurries
Eyes are green, your hands are furry
please let me wake release the fears
from startled shudder, worms and worries
I lost my trust in winter’s flurries
And they still won’t go by Francisco Goya
A little crazy Villanelle. Just for fun.
—
June 29, 2015
Björn Rudbergs writings 
LOVE your use of repetition, Bjorn.
Bravo! I love villanelles but struggling to write them.
Excellent Villanelle, but a tad creepy!
I loved this form.. its so mesmerizing! 😀
Excellent write 🙂
This quickly descended into nightmare, Bjorn! I always love a villanelle well-executed.
Interesting rhymes! Very accomplished.
Really very effective at bringing the grue here Bjorn–I love a good villanelle, and your word choice and twists on the phrasing make this one superb. I especially love(and am creeped out by) the fifth and sixth stanzas.
The rhythmic aspect of this is lovely
My flesh cringed at the rodent’s claws scurrying, and the fur and the worms…….yoiks! SO well done!
Your accomplishment of form is wonderful. But you call this a little fun?!?! Dark! LOL!
A fun read, Bjorn. Weren’t there rats in Poe’s The Pit and The Pendulum?
When I was in the Army pulling missile radar site guard duty we could sleep while the operational personnel were finished and departed. Normally they were off from about five until eight the next morning. From my sleep I would awaken to big rats crawling up and down the 2 X 4 bracing fore the walls. I never knew of any crawling on me. For sure they didn’t ever bite me.
I tried to envision the “tattooed tears” but couldn’t. DNA tattooed? Anyway I had the meaning.
..
Worms and worries says it all. Somehow I felt like I was being buried alive!
This is wonderful. I just love and admire it.
Yikes on the worms and rodent’s claws but cheering for the villanelle form ~ Have a good week Bjorn ~
“Oh, startled shudder”
Excellent opening phrase.
Been seeing a number of your Villanelles. They are certainly great read Bjorn, it’s fun.Gems in your word choice!
Hank
If the rats didn’t get me, the tattooed tears did. A confronting and mesmersing piece of writing.
How about this! So cool, so creepy! I love the repetition and the flow of this. Very enjoyable read!
Beautiful poetry to fit a form I couldn’t master. The repetition is so effective..there is sort of a scary desperation in this
A really cool villanelle. It is so in a league of its own, it ought to have a cult following. By deliberately over-emphasizing certain elements you’ve brilliantly created an extraordinary (and ghoulish) satirical milieu … “when you’re dying what’s the hurry” – very camp.
Admiring your amazing talent.