A savior at last


In sway of sentences and syllables
her purple words were thunderstorm and hail,
a pitter-patter of a summer rain
against the bruises of his tender skin.
Words left behind as wilted cherry bloom
in listless duet with the tarmaced street.
He turned silent, listening to the secrets told
by crimson lipstick stains on cigarettes
by damaged cobwebs on his fingertips.
by silent slander on the internet.
He touches bristles on forgotten chin
and sitting on his park-bench feeding doves.
he finds his solace in the drifting rain.
A pink umbrella listens to his voice
and comes to rest before his restless feet,
he picks it up, exhale a bourbon whiff
and leaves the park protected from himself.

Copyright by totomai

Copyright by totomai


Today at dVere Poetics Mary will introduce us to the excellent Photography of fellow poet Totamai Martinez. It was extremely tough to select a picture. But i was drawn to the color of the umbrella.

January 20, 2015

35 responses to “A savior at last

  1. It is hard to forget those words left behind and the Crimson lipstick stains that tell a tale. You have presented an intriguing scene, one which makes me want to know what came before…..

  2. cool last lines….protected from himself….i like how you start with her and pan across to him….very visual…easy to see…..cool allusions/comparisons to her words and the storm in the opening….

  3. so many beautiful metaphors and images brought to mind with your words. Plus , I love the pink umbrella.

  4. I’m enjoying the hints of red at the start of the poem.. leading us beautifully through the emotional storm to the pink umbrella. A benign counterpoint.

  5. Love this line: her purple words were thunderstorm and hail

    Also liking how the umbrella “listened” to him in the end ~ Good story here Bjorn ~

  6. A terrific poem, brother; free as verse can be (unless you have slipped in another classic form flawlessly). Your summation & synopsis, your tale of woe that ends on an upbeat; all grand verse; wonderful poem. I liked the lines /words left behind as wilted cherry bloom/in listless duet with tarmaced street/.

  7. This reminds me of the movie, The Red Balloon, the story about having something to hold onto. The umbrella’s brilliant pink color drew me in as well.

  8. After reading the ending, I went back to re-read with an entirely new perspective. I like how you carried color throughout as a theme and putting the photo at the end was a great idea–allowing the reader to toy with where you were going.

  9. A very engaging beginning… the words in form of thunderstorm and hail can be hurtful.
    I like how you depict his emotional side through silent pondering and finding solace in rain. The ending is hard-hitting, because people tend to blame themselves for relationships that do not work. Thoughtful writing, with some great imagery. 🙂
    -HA

  10. Oh the words, wet and stormy words that he took into himself and sat alone with until he conjured protection … there are traces on cigarette buts, internet, and finger tips … drift into solace, why not? Burbon and umbrellas offer assistance! Powerful imagery.

  11. Intriguing & resonating familiar scenes under the rain. The presence of the rain in your poem tigthens the emotions so well conveyed all throughout the poem. A sad but lovely offering today, Bjorn! And I loved your chosen photograph, btw.

  12. Aww, the poor man – I really felt for him. Then the brightness of that umbrella, the sheer joie de vivre that it conveyed – and that final line, that it is himself he needs protecting from. Very thought-provoking!

  13. This is very good. The last four lines really spoke to me – a lot of impressions, really. Though, I am left with a sense of desperation thinly checked behind that pink umbrella shield.

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