I’m also sinking


Every time I see a plastic sack among the flotsam and the debris, I think that you’ve come back to tell . In some way it could be a sweet relief, as the sympathies of friends — even your friends — has grown to be a burden like the weight that keeps the truth below the surface..

It was your fault; that’s why my lies came easy. Now you share your dwelling with the one you love; but I’m alone.

I feel their prying eyes, burning with compassion that I don’t deserve; and now I’m sinking just like you once did.

Copyright Sandra Cook

Copyright Sandra Cook


I found it was a little while since I did a grizzly murder story, but this picture invited me to do it. Friday Fictioneers is run by our Master-Mind of fiction Rochelle Wissoff-Fields. Joint in the craze of writing 100 word story to the same picture as this blossoming community of bloggers.



December 10, 2014.

79 responses to “I’m also sinking

  1. Very dark, and beautifully subtle. Loved the phrasing too – the sympathies as a burden, and “I’m sinking like you once did…”

    A great one.
    KT

  2. Dear Bjorn,

    An excellent title fronting a perfect story. Guilt, remorse, anger all mix in the backwater of the river where she lies. Well told.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. Oh, Bjorn, this is delicious. The writing flows like a river or the tides. There truly is something awful about garbage on the beach. I’m glad this picture led you to such a spot on story.

  4. Dear Bjorn, Spectacular Murder Mystery! I absolutely love it and wow – you don’t look like a murderer but then the ones that look innocent are the ones that get away. How many skeletons in your closet? Really Bjorn, this is marvelous writing – excellent!

  5. Very subtle, I read it twice to make sure I had the meaning. It sounds like your narrator is having trouble coming to terms with what they did (as well they should!).
    Beautifully written.

  6. The complexity of his remorse comes through strongly in your story. He’s sinking with guilt, but still not really accepting the blame for his actions. Cleverly done and a gripping story.

  7. Your narrator is so worn down. It must be hard to be comforted when you are the guilty party – the inner conflict and urge to tell wearing him down. Well done on evoking sympathy for a murderer 🙂

  8. That was very deep, Bjorn. No pun intended. Sometimes, people just can’t get out from under the weight of it all. Excellent. Lucy

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