when seconds of my spreadsheets crawl – quarrel for dVerse


in pain
of loneliness
she’s counting windowpanes
as seconds crawl across her skin
and barista-psssh count the minute steps
of dirty newspapers unread
& coffee dregs turn cold
she waits for me
again
my spreadsheets dies
to blue-screen error calls
and phone-lines – dead as she forgets
to charge her color candy-crush machine
I’m hanging in the printer queue
as facebook updates sing
of after-work
in rain
she’s counting notes
of pitter-patter songs
to syncopate – her fingertips
are dancing restlessly on Formica
her heart against the rib-cage – thumps
as pressure builds inside
a fuse is lit
in wain
I’m running late
unfinished work to do
but still I rush to meet her here
I watch her melting to a smile – relief
as sentences of us embrace
when finally I touch
her – needless to
abstain


Today at dVerse Gay wants us to write a form that consists of diamond shaped metered verses, where each diamond shows alternating viewpoints, each of the short lines should rhyme too… what better name could this be than a quarrel?.

September 24.

20 responses to “when seconds of my spreadsheets crawl – quarrel for dVerse

  1. as sentences of us embrace….smiles…i like that…you did really well with the form…worked in a story and setting…i tried last night and mine was mush so far…so will keep working on it on my break today….

  2. i like how you set the scene here – and even manage to create an atmosphere – well done on the form – whew – i found it very challenging

  3. You make it look easy Bjorn ~I admire how you set the scene then to your meeting while incorporating modern gadgets from spreadsheets to FB ~

  4. You used the alternate viewpoints very well, Bjorn. I liked the mention of all the technological flaws in the second stanza and the end with an embrace in the last. The feeling of relief is palpable.

  5. You techno-poetic wizard, you. This piece is flawless, brother, so well done that it dwarfs my own efforts. Within my piece, I extoll the virtues of attempting new forms, & then it appears I kind of invented a new one of my own; several hours of wordsmithing & word processing up in poetic smoke–well, there was some fun in the process regardless.

  6. This is gorgeous! It is like the window panes. I am so pleased with the way you accommodated the form and yet made it completely your own. What a fine topic and your rhyme words were there but so subtle and such beautiful transitions from one to the next. Kudos. You make me proud!

  7. ooh…the end really brought this piece home for me. There is something about “as sentences of us embrace” that just elicits a sigh from me.

  8. My, this is full of vitality and images galore…you excel at all poetry forms. Fun topic with syncopation/computer talk/a little romance 😉

  9. In a challenge that was way beyond me, you made everything look easy. A beautiful poem, cool story within, and utterly seamless. Thank you.

  10. This is beautiful. I love you wove our everyday techno-trappings and real-world deadlines into what really matters; spending time with loved ones and enjoying their smiles.

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