A sleepless night – for dVerse

My sleepless night is like
a farmers field
heavy with relentless rain
the third Monday in November

hours of the night are sticky
like the muddy earth
plowed and naked
open to the leaded skies
the third Monday in November

When morning comes
my mind is heavy
brimming with its clay
my mouth is filled with rotting leaves
and the decay from
the third Monday in November

But still – through the foggy landscape
of my sleepless night appears
the prospect of the day
unharvested and rich
like the blessing of the barns
filled with crops
the third Monday in November.

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Today at MTB at dVerse Karin has us exploring extended metaphors. I had problems sleeping tonight – and the morning has come. Hence my extended metaphor. The bar opens up at 3 PM EST.

September 11, 2014

31 responses to “A sleepless night – for dVerse

  1. Yes, a farmer’s field heavy with relentless rain is an excellent metaphor for a sleepless night! And I can see how one would wake up with a heavy mind after such a long night!

  2. I can replete to sleepless nights, Björn, and can certainly feel the heaviness of yours. A field heavy with rain would be hard to shake off in the morning.

  3. ugh…. sleeping bad can wear you down… i had a really bad night when we had that supermoon… usually i sleep like a bear though… luckily… cool to comparing it with the farmer’s field…the plowed earth..

  4. Terrific take on Karin’s prompt; helped me to get to my writing today. Like your lines /when morning comes/my mind is heavy/brimming with its clay/ which describes most of my mornings, brother.

  5. I like the refrain of the 3rd monday of November, seems like a dreary day ~ However the ending made me smile, the prospect of the day,unharvested & rich ~

  6. The refrain of the 3rd Monday in November struck me as it seemed it had to do with Kennedy’s assasination, but I looked it up and it was a Friday, not a Monday…another dreary day/time indeed..But your muggy, sleepless night, mind restless, and relentless rain doesn’t keep the day from arriving..perhaps unresolved issues in the mind you will dream about tonight 😉

  7. At least if you’re not sleeping, you’ve done some lovely writing. The imagery you’ve used, such as clay and leaves, rain and fog leaves one feeling tired under the ‘grayness’ of it all. Nicely done. Hope you finally got some rest!

  8. Can hear you reading the poem…way cool! ~ love the metaphors – rotten leaves in the mouth, sleepless night like the farmer’s field …probably most people were awake that night ~ absence of rhymes feels totally differently in my perception of the narrator… ~ blessing anticipating the harvest of next day :)x

  9. Quite the historian, Novembers’ end of season and harvest in the end a mixed story in the blends, I enjoyed reading here. Deep metaphors. Sleepless seems to be rampant Super Moon or what? Everyone I talked to this month. Learning to live at night. It is weird. Thanks for coming by.

  10. Your sleepless night’s metaphor makes me think of Flanders in WW1, and “the third Monday in November” — so precisely nailing the moment — makes me think of “the third year of the War.” Sometimes we just gotta slog on through. Great work.

  11. Thanks, Bjorn! I loved this and it really helped me to understand what I am aiming for in the prompt. The repeating line resonates as if coming up from the ground…that sounds weird I know but it just brings home the metaphor for me…not sure if that makes sense- like a chant.

  12. I find the most effective part of this the refrain and cadence, but I also admire the way you have perfectly followed through on your metaphor, more so than many I have read for this prompt–and by doing so, you show exactly why that’s a good thing. Fall is heavy in the air here, with all its ambiguity and change, and all its rich harvest.

  13. Bjorn, I like the way you used the metaphor and drew it from the picture. I also like the use of a specific date, which adds something personal to the poem. I worried at first that you were only going to use similes but then you took it away via metaphor.

    janet

  14. “When morning comes
    my mind is heavy
    brimming with its clay
    my mouth is filled with rotting leaves
    and the decay from
    the third Monday in November”
    Vivid description of an unending night–the choice of the third Monday in November is aurally pleasing and a good representative of the bleak time between the end of fall and the beginning of winter and the holidays. The repetition adds strength to your words.

  15. As i think i remember i imagine that this is reflective of the approaching shortest days of the year..where light grows very dim in Northern November Hemisphere horizons..

    But yes thank goodness for thanks giving where i live and the Christmas lights of December light a little more of the way until the Winter Solstice comes and the light grows once again….more….

    Nah..the heat and humidity is not too much to bear here..in Sunny North Florida..as the Sun burns bright in creativity it seems too..

    Perhaps a little too much for this Sunned boy too..as fall comes and Winter grows it is rest..perhaps not felt..but never the less human rest that comes my way..in dimming a flame before it burns itself out…

    The balance of light and dark goes on..but without it the stars will explode or implode..but the result is the same..a state of nothingness..so i’ll take the dark too..and run with it2..or dance as i can’t physically run anymore..to the disbelief of some folks who watch me dance now..:)

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