My victory insignia – for dVerse

There are two cautions for my readers

1. this is fiction, purely fiction – and quite horrific.
2. It’s not new but has been written to a prompt

The reason for this is that Gay wants us to note our own beat, by marking it in the text by marking stressed syllables in italics. I have tried to do this below by using a prose-poem which I think is closest to my internal beat. I hope I did it right, and the prosepoem should be new to everyone but Brian.

Copyright John Nixon

Copyright John Nixon

Warm sand meets my bare feet and tells of losses, of sorrows but now also hope. The sea might have taken all away, but writhen canopies murmur soft songs of consolation in my starving ears. Filigree shadow patterns on the ground remind me of the way your hair used to dance in the ocean breeze, and I can hear your laughter in the wind. Memories of screams and tresses of your dying hair plastered to your skull are waning as striations from your nails are becoming faint lines on my muscular forearms. They are my victory-insignia to your wanton chicanery.

August 14, 2014

39 responses to “My victory insignia – for dVerse

  1. ha. but not horribly horrific…nice job on indentifying your rhythm…it is and easy and talking pace through, which makes sense to me considering your work with forms and sonnets

  2. the regularity of rhythm stands out… steady like heartbeat… probably that is why sonnets come so easy to you as your built in metronome finds their pattern natural

  3. I am not set up for making underlines, and kind of missed the boat on designating the rhythms within my Lune Haibun; so I love your prose poem, brother, very noir; chilling.

  4. a little song of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde comes through these words of hide and go seek escape that never great light or is still a reality to be sung as song!
    unfortunately for some..

    ALL 2TRUE!

  5. hahahahaha….even in prose you work in iambs and anapests. You are a “natural” poet. Your heart beat, song beat, think beat, pop beat, rock & roll beat are so ingrained in your voice that even in prose they are ever evident. I don’t wonder knowing you through text – but English is not even your first language. Does your native tongue fall as regularly? Thanks for posting. I think it’s clear you should be writing songs as well as poetry!

  6. I figure if this were not fiction, you would be writing from prison. Ha. It was a horrifying scene but you painted it so well with your words. To me the rhythm seems very stable, balanced, which lends itself to the icyness of the narrator.

  7. Ha! Both of us had a beach theme for today. Yours is a tad darker than mine, though–very disturbing! Great rhythm as well.

  8. Beautifully written, though I was glad to know that it is fiction! Some (by no means all) of your stresses are not how I would have read it, but I put this down to . language differences. It still reads smoothly.

  9. First of all I just love that picture and how your poem relates to it all those dark twists and turns of human nature…well of some not all. Really well done.

  10. The images are so lovely until we get to plastered tresses. I’ve read with your emphasis and without and with works best, especially when it comes to the murderous lines at the end.

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