The harvest moon leaves silver filaments at sea
The harvest moon leaves silver filaments at sea
Braided in the tresses of your golden hair they shine
Braided in the tresses of your golden hair they shine
They harvest leaves – in the filaments of braided moon hair
At the sea your silver tresses – shine in golden
I am the anvil to lugubrious hammer thuds
I am the anvil to lugubrious hammer thuds
As oily hands are groping in your negligée
As oily hands are groping in your negligée
Your oily anvil thuds in lugubrious negligée
As I am the groping hammer to your hands
My wanton need is quenched by turning tricks
My wanton need is quenched by turning tricks
The path divide into the unmarked road
The path divide into the unmarked road
Divide by need is the wanton turning into
My unmarked road tricks, the path is quenched
Your oily tricks need is the golden negligée
In Lugubrious groping to the unmarked anvil
They divide the filaments by silver in thuds
My braided path at your wanton tresses shine
As the moon road is turning into hammer of the hair
I am your sea-leaves in the harvest quenched
We are writing paradelles at dVerse today. Parody or poetry – you can judge.
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July 31, 2014
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I liked this very much. I did something recently similar where I made a two part sentence and repeated the second part in the first part of the succeeding sentence which thewn came back to the beginning. I did not know it was a trope–a paradelle–interesting. You did very well with your paradelle. Smiles. >KB
The paradelle also re-uses words from the repeated phrases 😉
I am the anvil to lugubrious hammer thuds…ha, i like that line…and the heat as well…ha…the imagery in the first one is very nice…the sea/the hair…um, hoping its not fish oil on those groping hands…that could have quite the smell…you closing stanza made me smile too…well played bjorn…
wow – It takes a math wiz to fit the words into this form! Well said
very interesting…I was rather mixed up by the end 🙂
So was I 😉
your delight in form poetry is evident in every line….and with so many beautiful images 🙂
OK, brother, you’re not afraid of no Paradelle! Your words flutter about madly, like a swarm of chatty bats; & yet the poetics are wholly intact, & the “form” is well served. I liked the lines /divide by need is the wanton turning into/my unmarked road tricks, the path is quenched/.
Brilliant, especially with all the lugubrious groping! Ha! Loved it.
Very clever verses Bjorn ~ I am still figuring out the pattern but you did very well here ~
I particularly like the images in the first stanza, Björn, but my favorite line is “I am your sea-leaves in the harvest quenched”.
You worked the form well, Bjorn, and have created quite a vivid picture. Strong conclusion as well.
nice contrast in this the gentle sea and moon then hardness in the anvil and unmarked road… nice combination of words
This form looks to be absolutely daunting, to me. But you’ve pulled it off – complete with a playful nod (or perhaps a lugubrious grope) of parody. Billy Collins, I think, would be pleased..
Whoa, I really love the words you chose throughout, Bjorn. The second stanza especially resonates with me — I just love the first and third lines. Well done.
You’re back in the north country with your thudding hammer and anvil. I get it.
I think your break freshened your mind and lifted away some heaviness….this is great, Bjorn. I don’t have a favorite line, they are all good…overall Paradelle is strong and expertly woven.
Delightful in both ways! As multi-faceted parody – including your choice of words, and, as seriously poetry of quest for a beloved, where the words are seen to have a powerful, wanton edge. Great stuff Bjorn.
The changing order or the words leads to some strange combinations. I tried, but had to concede defeat! Yours is at least correct.
Bjorn, I agree that this piece had a real Viking sound to it. It seemed longer to me and a bit different than your usual pieces. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
Oh, what lovely fun!
Great poem Bjorn so well done.
Love the golden negligee and the anvil to lugubrious hammer thuds 🙂
umpf… the oily hands made me swallow a bit – ha… love the braided moon hair…. what a wonderful image that is
Beautifully lyrical 1st stanza – loved the silvery tresses and braided moon – and not sure if I have ever read a poem that used the word lugubrious! quite the triumph! K
Oh, lovely mythology arising. Over the horizon of poetry and play.
Definitely poetry.
I especially like the first stanza. I also like the sensuality of this and the images that came through. Nice.
I think you had a little too much fun writing this. 🙂 it sounds impish and playful.
there is something quite enchanting about this piece. it flows quite impressively. I feel a bit parched after reading this…
One takes a lot of sacrifices as an anvil for some others. But the oily hand should be careful where it should be groping. Like the twist you’ve taken here Bjorn! Wonderful word craft!
Hank
Your first stanza set such a gorgeous stage for the then oily, groping hands in the negligee…it turned kind of intense. I enjoyed!
Some great lines in this one
I liked the kenning
I am your sea-leaves in the harvest
Loved the first stanza..you have weaved a beautiful image here…
Interesting and I like the beautiful images written here.
I thought this very humorous, Bjorn, in that it begins so romantically, and then moves to the comic. Well done.k.