to once again be brave – for dVerse


The blessings of a full nights sleep
seemingly is lost for me
as whispers of inadequacy,
relentless voices in my dreams
wakes me up at 3 AM
I need to pee, and suddenly I realize
fulfillments – promises
I have said what should have been withheld,
and kept mum of necessary truths
I have refrained
I have delayed
and whimpering
I drift back to the whispers of inadequacy
into melancholy of unrestful sleep

I know that only in myself I’ll find the strength
of woods and mountains
of sea and streams
of words I capture from the sky
to once again be brave

I will walk and sleep outdoors
I will ride the waves of open sea
I will capture sunshine for my dreams
to quench the whispers of inadequacy
and once again be brave

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Today at dVerse Poetics Marina wants us to write about shattering and rebuilding, be it personal or in the world. I’m struggling a lot with my confidence at the moment. I hope the rebuilding will happen on the mountainpaths. I’m not sure my shattered world can measure up to the standards of others…

June 24, 2014

42 responses to “to once again be brave – for dVerse

  1. Oh Bjorn such pain contained in your words. I do hope you will find what you are looking for, that one thing that will give you back that feeling of brave again. best wishes.

  2. I’ve been having a lot of restless nights lately too… Sometimes it’s our own actions, sometimes the actions of others that cause unrest. Powerful poem.

  3. often, the subconscious works when we take a break from the issues, and sometimes feelings of that nature are the last boundary to personal growth. It seems to me that you have “game” in this whirlwind called life. – bw

  4. capturing sunshine for the dreams…i love this… also the sleeping outdoors, the being away from the everyday chores… i’m sure it will recharge your batteries and give you back that peaceful nightsleep as well… sometimes stress and too much work makes our life’s scaffolds brittle…happens to me at the moment…i really urgently need a holiday…

  5. I do hope the strength returns..sometimes the mountains and the sea plus all that is within can work miracles.

  6. Bjorn, Sometimes we just need to think in stillness to work things out. I don’t worry anymore about the expectations of others. I think they should look to themselves instead of criticising me. Live and let live. If it’s a marriage partner, we do have to work together, but our life is not really the business of others outside the two of us. I’ve actually had to tell some people that I don’t want their criticism or suggestions. You have to be firm with some poeple. They have to be actually told to their face. If they really care, they’ll understand. I try not to be rude, but I’ll only take so much. I have no way of knowing your problems, but I hope you’ll be able to work things out. If it’s concerning your job, you’re the best one to decide what to do. You can talk that over with your wife. Take care. 🙂 —Susan

  7. We all have our doubting moments but sometimes doubt feels overwhelming and can cause many sleepless nights and awkward days. Hopefully nature, and the confrontation with sea, streams, woods and mountains will provide the space which will allow you to focus on your strengths.

  8. Bjorn – I hope you find respite, rest and peace. I was truly surprised to read that you are struggling at the moment, and I wish you an escape and resolution soon. Those broken nights, the relentless thoughts. Ugh. Very vividly expressed as always, since you are a master with words.

  9. I especially like how you turn to the strength of nature to find the strength within. As for sleepless nights–are they a side effect of being creative? I think so.

  10. Hoping your well-deserved holiday in nature will help you find your confidence again. Spoken like a true Viking – I’m sure they too had their moments of doubt, whatever people say…

  11. I like the Viking analogy, brother–and what is summer in Sweden without a crisis to surmount; even a crisis of confidence counts, & your sharing with us is indicative of healing, or rebuilding, or rejuvenation; dig it, return to the bosom of nature, stare into the starry skies, brew coffee on an open fire, listen to the wind operas, conquer the fear of darkness, & when you re-enter the urban fray it will truly be a new day. Hugs to you.

  12. I love your seeking strength in the woods and mountains – it is definitely the place for restoring the soul. I find your two closing stanzas uplifting, because they list all the things so important to spirit. A positive turning! Beautiful writing, Bjorn.

  13. Your poem dovetails with Claudia’s it seems to me. You have expressed exactly what it’s like to be at your stage of life and come to the answer if not quite yet to its fulfillment. Kudos, you are strong and you will succeed and share through your poetry to everyone. I hope you are writing your poems in both languages.

  14. Ah, how true, we are our greatest enemies. While we have the capacity to hurt ourselves, we also have the ability to make ourselves whole.

  15. it is outdoors that i often retreat to…to refind my peace in the after…among the trees and mountains….i wonder too if all men are not haunted by that inadequacy…smiles.

  16. Hoping the outdoors sooth you and help you find what you are lacking at the moment. I hope you are brave and I hope you are peaceful. The outdoors are medicine for all that ails us.

  17. I just spent 2 weeks walking Bornholm, and I can confirm that fresh air, exercise, and lots of nature are restorative. Well written poem, Bjorn.

  18. I think we are all subject to periods of self doubt and wish we could change things we might have said or done…I know you will restore
    your confidence in your writing skills once you get away..as tree branches reach out in new green growth in the spring. It’s hardest when it drags on and seems like a wall we can’t permeate. Recognize it as pain or suffering that needs to be worked through, identified or – as a junction in the road that is crowded and once you know the direction and fight your way clear to go, then you will be able to let it go and you will be stronger and prepared ..it’s like a battle, but you will win the war, Bjorn!

  19. Hope your walks are recuperative of spirit and that the fierce Northwesterly [ which you are sending us] will peter out and leave you lovely weather for the vacation you are planning.

  20. I hope you will find your courage & strength in the outdoors Bjorn ~ I like the positive & openness to find healing in nature ~

  21. Man, I can relate to this – a lot. reassurance is a daily exercise – I’ve learned that after years of struggling with confidence; I finally got tired of feeling like I couldn’t be me, for me. The mind is our greatest asset, but can also be our downfall. I hope the mountainpaths bring you inner peace… Breathe deep. The only standards you ever have to measure up to, are yours and yours alone.

  22. Imagine what kind of a person you would be without periods of self doubt.A vacuous one.Tis all part of the creative journey. You will find a dose of inspiration and renewal in nature.Let your heart sing.

  23. Yes, I know you will. We all need to be vulnerable at times. It’s part of being human. You are a strong survivor and glad you are in my world even if I’ve dropped out a bit.

  24. I will capture the sunshine for my dreams..i liked it a lot..just last night I was helping my daughter to prepare for a debate and she had picked the same topic..smiles..:)

  25. Bjore thanks…….. I need those words to make myself strong…… we have some similar life going on here……….. 😉

  26. Perhaps you’re pushing yourself too hard Bjorn. I don’t know if you have tried meditation… sometimes in the stillness the subconscious comes through with comfort or the answer. I hope you have that holiday in nature there is no better refresher. I admire your poetry very much.

  27. Those voices, they always whisper in the early morning hours. They know the light of day make them look silly and incompetent. Do the and be the best you are capable of each moment – no one can ask more of us. Peace and healing, Bjorn, and restful sleep if this is autobio. It is a powerful, thoughtful poem.

  28. Whenever I think of my lack of confidence it seems to center around “what other people may think”. If I really look at myself honestly, putting all other judgements aside, the process has better results. I know..easier said than done.
    One thing for sure, there is no inadequacy in your poetry. I enjoy your unique style and look forward to anything you write. Capturing sunshine and hiking along mountain paths would be my idea of resolve as well. Happy trails. 🙂

  29. “To quench the whispers of inadequacy and once again be brave.” -Whooo! I loved those lines- they’re my favorite. I love how you realize that you can find strength in no one else but you. And sometimes when we’re at our weakest, we have to dig deep inside ourselves to remember that we are strong. Heart felt poem.

  30. The policeman of the soul wanders his beat at 3 a.m., doesn’t he, holding all we aren’t or can’t be or dream falsely for into account … the dark side of the mirror, I guess. We have to get through those nights.

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